


LIG: Little Iron Giant

by Maximusmax



Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen, Mild Language, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2020-10-24 08:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20702732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maximusmax/pseuds/Maximusmax
Summary: What do you do in a world of super men, and world shakers armed with only hazy knowledge, a cursed fruit, and two giant friends? Git good hopefully





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All thanks to my Beta Reader Caffeinated Dragon

...  
Chapter 1  
The Land that nearly ate me!  
Or,  
How I got hard!

...

You know, while being eaten by a dinosaur is not a bad way to go…

I STILL DON'T WANT TO DIE! I thought to myself as I ran from the T-Rex - or was it a Carnosaur? Either what, it was a big fracking lizard with sharp teeth! 

"Help me!" I shouted as I weaved between the trees, thanking God I was used to forests as a country boy, as well as the fact I was wearing shoes when I woke up here... wherever here was. Although waking up to a face full of dino drool wasn't exactly a great start. 

"I liked you more in the 'Land before Time'!'' I shouted at the dino, leaping over a downed tree in front of me while the reptile just bulldozed through it. Holy crap, I do not want to be on the receiving end of that. I want my torso without a massive hole in it, thank you very much!

Then I hear something that was sweet music to my ears. "Today is the day I take your head, Dorry!" "Not with those skills you won ́t, Broggy!" Well, music to me anyway. Voices meant people! Hopefully people with guns! Then came the extremely loud sound of a mighty clash of steel.

So loud, in fact, that I was forced to stop in my tracks to cover my ears lest they die of tinnitus, as well as sending the Sharptooth chasing me running in the opposite direction, screeching it’s ears off in pain. How the hell I could even hear that after the assault on my ears, I don’t know. And here I was at an impasse: go towards the sounds of a Kaiju fight or back into the forest. 

"Might as well. I may be able to get to see something cool." I shrug. Yeah, my survival instinct was kinda faulty. And with that, I began jogging towards the laughter and clashing metal. No one has ever accused old Maxie of being smart.

Once I got clear of the forest, my eyes went wide as saucers.

"Holy crap, it is a Kaiju fight." I said as I watched two gigantic Vikings face off. The shorter - the term being relative here - wielding an ax and buckler. He swung his ax with all the force of a mountain at his taller opponent. The taller one wielded a one-and-a-half-handed sword and buckler he used to expertly parry the axe blow. They moved with surprising agility for their size, as they fought with the grace and power of seasoned warriors. Before I knew it I was sitting on a fallen tree and just started watching. Whooping and cheering each blow and move like a wrestling fan. It wasn't until the volcano went off - sending me to the ground in the process - that the giants finally collapsed side by side near me. 

"Well fought, my dearest friend," the tall giant say, his face all smiles. 

"And you too, my oldest rival!" The shorter one replied his smile matching. Seeing these two who fought so awesomely I couldn't help myself but run over.

"THAT WAS THE GREATEST FIGHT I HAVE EVER SEEN! YOU TWO ROCK!' I shout between them, my arms pumping excitedly. Also I really hope you don't eat humans.

The two went wide-eyed at my appearance. 

"Dear me, a human in Little Garden? When's the last time we have seen one of them eh Dorry?" the short giant asks the taller one. 

"Oh, I say about 50 years or so, give or take.' The taller one answers, sitting up as he scratches his beard. “He said he was a scientist and came to study the local ecosystem. He always ran away when he saw us though." 

Broggy began nodding his head as he too sat up. "Aye, I remember him. Overheard him say he was studying metallurgy. But back to the current matter, who are you, small friend?" He asks me, Dorry leaning forward to hear me better. 

"Oh snap. Sorry about that guess that was rude me. My name is Maximus... and for some reason I can't remember my family name?" I question as I close my eyes to concentrate. I remembered a house, some people, maybe some names but nothing really personal. "I'm sorry I don't remember who I am," I replied my voice a bit huskier at this revelation. My eyes started to tear up but it felt wrong to cry in front of such mighty beings. Then I felt a rough but warm feeling on both sides of me. Looking up both Broggy and Dorry had their left hand enveloping me gently. 

"There is no shame in shedding tears for a loss lad," Dorry says, an understanding smile on his face. 

"Aye. A great warrior does not run from his tears. Rather he embraces them for they come from a part of him all great warriors need." Broggy says as his eyes and face seem to twinkle when he smiled. 

"A strong heart!" They shout in unison, and began to laugh loudly and proudly. And soon I was laughing too, even as tears fell from my face. Their comforting hands didn’t leave me for a long time.

Later I am riding on Dorry's shoulders as he and Brogy lead the way to the old scientist's cave. From so high up I finally get a good look at my landing zone. A massive forest stretched from one end to the other. Side by side in the middle of the island are two gargantuan Water Kings- 

"Sea Kings, lad" Broggy corrected. 

Apparently, Broggy and Dorry had a disagreement about something some 90 odd years ago and since they had no clear winner they decided to have a duel to decide who won.

"So you guys have dueled every day for 98 years and it always ends in a draw?" I asked the disbelief in my voice.

"Aye. It has. But it is to be expected when I am fighting the Red Ogre!" Dorry laughs. "I could say the same for you 'Blue Ogre'!" Broggy responded with a similar laugh. 

"Blue Ogre, Red Ogre? What do those mean?" I mutter, my head tilting.

"Those are our epithets, lad. Names the Navy gave us when we got our bounties back when we first started being Pirates." Broggy said a grin on his face. 

Wait, pirates? "But aren't pirates criminals?' I asked. That era was also long gone, but no way in hell was I mentioning that. “You guys don't seem like criminals to me." 

Both began laughing loudly. "Oh, my little friend. So many a century ago would have strongly disagreed that point.” Dorry said wiping the smile tears from his eyes. 

"But, don't make mistakes here. There are some truly bad pirates out there. Pillaging, terrorizing, and destroying just for the pure fun of it." Broggy said a scowl on his face that Dorry matched. "And then there is us. Those who chase the mad dream others laugh at, the ones who wonder what lies beyond that monstrous storm, and the nakama. Those people you forged bonds with. Bonds thicker than any metal. Forged in fires even the gods would be burned by. Those are the Pirates we are, lad" Broggy said smiling eyes misting over memories of past adventures. Dorry closed his eyes, a similar smile on his face. "Nakama and pirates, huh?" I whisper softly as I find myself lost in thought. People that were complete strangers becoming family in all but blood? And in such a short amount of time, too.

Granted, it was kind of obvious that not all pirates here acted this way (just look at Kuro! Just look at him!), but I think it’s safe to say that the more decent ones aka the ones with a fair amount of morals would be that way.

"Here we are, little Maxie," Dorry said setting me down in front of the cave. According to the volcano, which goes off every hour, it has been about 2 hours since the duel. Walking to the cave mouth near the lake I stared inside. Thankfully there was plenty of daytime left, so I was able to see a decent way in. "It should be untouched since that scientist was the last human on Little Garden. You should be able to find some stuff to use." Dorry said as he and Broggy kneeled on either side of the entrance. 

"And you're sure there aren't any dinos in there?" I ask nervously, staring into the gaping entrance with some wariness.

"About 70% sure, Maxie," Broggy answered honestly. 

"Hey, that's a passing grade to me," I say as I walk into the cave. It wasn't long before I found a room inside the cave. On one side was a full bookcase, and a chest. On the other wall was a number of tools, albeit they were covered in rust and dust, and a work desk, while at the end of the cave was an old dusty bed. 

Going to the bookcase I began to study the books. " 'Common metals of the World' by Gemma Hedge. Huh." Taking the book down, I began to flip through it until my stomach started to growl. Better find some food, I think to myself. Then I spy a small gray fruit on a shelf above the desk. It was about the size of peach with odd swirls in it. I started to read the dusty plaque below it. "Please eat. Don't mind if I do." I say, picking up the fruit. Just as I was about to eat it, the giants call out to me.

"Everything all right in there Maxie?" Brogy called from the entrance. "Yeah, I am fine. Sorry about that. Found some odd-looking fruit though. Good thing too. I was getting hungry." I said tossing the fruit in my mouth. " Odd-looking fruit?" Dorry said. A flash of panic appeared on their faces. "MAXIE DON'T EAT IT!" They shouted causing me to swallow out of reflex. 

"OH GOD HOW DOES IT TASTE LIKE RUSTED METAL, BAD GOAT CHEESE, AND MIN?!" I double over, spitting as much as I could in a futile attempt to get rid of the god-awful taste. “HOW DOES A FRUIT EVEN TASTE LIKE METAL?!?!”

"Maxie, what happened?" Dorry asked from the entrance. 

"Y'alls darn shouting made me swallow the rotten thing. That's what happened!" I shouted rubbing my tongue with my hands trying to get the taste off. 

"Oh, by Eblaf I was afraid of that," Broggy groans into his hands. 

"Afraid of what?" I ask, fear creeping into my voice. 

"Dorry run back to your camp and bring back some good mead," Broggy asks his friend, who nods and starts to run. Okay, calm down. Everything is gonna be fine. Let's just read this book until Dorry comes back. As I opened the book to a random page. "Huh, 'The most commonly used iron-bearing minerals contain iron compounds as follows: hematite, Fe 2O 3 ' that's interesting, I guess Fe is the elemental name for iron and OH MY GOD WHY AM I GRAY COLORED?!" I ran out of the cave at breakneck speed. "Broggy, help me!" I shouted as I got out of the cave. Broggy, seeing me gray-colored went even wider eyed. 

"Dorry, you better make it the strong kind." He amends, staring at me with his jaw to the ground.

One freak out and explanation later...

"So, I ate a Demon Fruit?" I ask my new friends as the sun started to set.

"Devil Fruit, aye. And it is not good, lad" Brogfy sighs. 

"What? Why?" I asked scared. 

"Ye ate the Metal -Metal Fruit, tiny friend," Dorry answered.

"That doesn't sound too bad," I said feeling kinda better.

"In Paradise aye, it isn't." Broggy said honestly his face starting to smile.

"However, in New World people that are able to tear or cut metal are as common as trees in the forest." Dorry, meanwhile, crushing my hopes in an instant.

"But don't worry most users explode long before then." They chorus, smiling. Meanwhile, I have passed out while standing up. What? Cut me a break I have had a lot happen today.

One cold water wake up later...

"SO EVERY USER BEFORE ME HAS EITHER BEEN TORN TO PIECES IN THE NEW WORLD OR EXPLODES?!" I yell, panic very much clear in my voice.

"Or drowned, or melted down into ore," Dorry states, ticking them off on his fingers.

"Did you hear the story about that poor bastard that turned into Seastone?" Broggy asked Dorry. 

"Aye, the poor blighter. I think he is still stuck at the bottom of the ocean." Dorry replies, taking a quick gulp of his mead. 

At this point, I am trying to drown myself in their alcohol bottle. 

"Anything else?!" I scream at Dorry as he fishes me out of the mead bottle. 

"Well, actually 2 more things," Brogy says, scratching his beard. 

"Oh god no.” I whimper. “How can anything be worse than the seastone one?"

"One fella rusted to death after falling asleep outside in the rain," Dorry answers, looking away guiltily. 

"Another fella turned into some kind of silvery liquid and killed himself and an entire island along with him," Brogy says, also looking away. 

I just stare at them for a minute, mind computing the horrors that had befallen my predecessors.

"Dorry," I say looking at him after a good minute.

"Back in the bottle?" He asks, reading my mind. 

"Back in the bottle." I sigh as he throws me back in.

Half a giant-sized mead bottle later I roar at the top of my lungs. "I CAN’T GET FRACKING DRUNK!"

"Really?" Dorry asks while he and Broggy’s eyes go wide. Like, disturbingly wide.

"Well, we need to test that little Maxie!" Broggy declares as he cracks open a fresh bottle. "Here is to our new friend!!" He shouts, raising said bottle. 

"Here is to a new tomorrow!" Dorry raising his own bottle. 

"Here is to not having an awful death!" I shout, doing the same with my cup of mead. 

...

We partied like this until late into the night. Dorry and Broggy were passed out with nearly 12 empty bottles of mead between them while I was finishing my 3rd bottle. 

"I can out-drink giants. That's awesome." I think aloud as I flop back onto the ground, marveling at the day I just had. Woke up on a weird island, almost got eaten, saw Giant warriors carry on a century-long duel, ate some weird nasty fruit that gave me superpowers. Albeit I can't swim now but I don't think I could before, I thought as I slowly drifted off into sleep. "Devil Fruits, Giants, Eblaf, Little Garden, New World, a Navy, ...OH SHIT, I'M IN BLEACH!” I yell, bolting upright in a panic… that is, until I thought some more. “Wait a sec that's not the right franchise. The One piece… where have I heard th- oh shit. I'm in One Piece. One Piece, where the baseline stats are superhuman. Oh fuuuuuuuuuuu-”  
Chapter ends


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to my wonderful Editor and Beta Reader Caffeinated Dragon

Chapter 2  
No pain, no gain  
Or  
How two Giants turned me into one

AKA the obligatory training montage because what story is complete without one?

So after last nights little realization, I made a plan: Operation "Don’t die a horrible death by the hell created by Oda Sama!" ...I have to come up with a better plan name, I think with a sigh, skipping rocks across the lake near my cave.

"First thing I need to do is get my body stronger, then train my Demon Fruit, and finally make some techniques. It is a shonen after all." I plan out loud as I get up to wash my face in the lake. Brown wavy hair, light blue eyes, and a lean(scrawny) body I would say I am… about average in looks, to be honest. Dressed in jeans, plain green T-shirts, and sneakers I had enough clothes to last for a bit. And whatever that scientist left in the cave. Now, to wake up Broggy and Dorry...

Two giants waking up later...

"So you want our help in making you stronger?" Broggy questions, releasing a massive yawn that blew down some small trees. 

"Yes, please. I figure since you two are so strong you gotta have some tips." I say, sitting on a tall rock across from them. Seeming to have the same thought Broggy and Dorry gave each other a look before nodding.

‘“There is an ancient Giant training regiment. Passed down among the greatest Eblaf Warriors.” Dorry said.

“It has driven many a great warrior to madness. And few have managed to complete.” Boggy said his eye steely. The duo gestured me closer and they leaned in to impart the secret.

“ 100 pushups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and 100KL run every day without rest,” Broggy revealed his voice a whisper for a Giant, but a yell for a human. 

"That sounds insane! And did something just fly over my head?" I ask sweating I felt a whoosh. Eventually, I just shrug it off and ask.

"Okay, what's first?!" I jumped to my feet, my fist clenched with determination.

"Well, first off we see what we are working with, " Dorry says standing up and walking into the forest. Meanwhile, Broggy starts building a large ring of stones and places me inside it. While Dorry runs back with his hands cupped together. 

"All right little Maxie I found the easiest thing I could. Hell, it is just a kitten. Try your best not to hurt it too bad!" Dorry says with a wide grin right before dropping in a freaking Saber-Tooth Tiger. 

The next 30 mins were ones I would forever try to erase from my memory. On the bright side, I now know my Devil Fruit works by me reciting the elemental symbol and makeup in my head. On the dark side, I can now never wear a speedo again.

"We got a lot of work to do, Dorry" Broggy said holding me away from the Tiger, who was desperately trying to play with its new favorite chew toy. If I survive this I swear to God I will drink all their alcohol. I planned my revenge and then began my hell training.

6 months later...

It is finally time for my rematch with Garfield. Yes, I named the tiger Garfield, sue me. The first month of training I swear I saw the face of Oda, after each session offering his mystical words of wisdom. Too bad it was all in Japanese!! 

Now here I was in the Ring of Ultimate Regret, what I named the stone sparring ring Broggy made. They still found time to have their duel every day. And every day they ended in a draw.

"Ready, laddie?" Sorry asked holding Garfield at the ready.

"If I said no would it matter?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"I wouldn't count on it, little friend," Broggy said, taking a deep drain from his mead bottle. And with that Dorry dropped Garfield into the ring. The second he hit the ground Garfield leaped at me. All 1,100 pound of raw kitty fury. But this time I was ready. 

At least, I hoped.

Diving forward I caught him in mid-leap. Iron mode Heavy! I thought to activate my Df powers. I learned that I could turn off the weight of the metal I became. Which made me a near ton of hard nope! His speed still carrying Garfield slammed hard into my shoulder driving the breath out of his body for a minute. Which was all I needed!

"Heavy off!" I shouted and with every muscle in my now honed body I arched my body backward. Monday this you massive hairball!

"Iron Power Slam!" I shouted slamming Garfield into the ground with enough force to crack it slightly. This seemed to knock him out. But as I turned off Iron Mode he sprang at me. Now the old me would have run away by now if it hadn't been for that day.

Flashback Technique!

I had been training for 2 months and according to Broggy and Dorry, I was already as strong as a15,000 Beri pirate, whatever that meant. The problem came during the practical applications.

"Come on now, Maxie!" Broggy shouted as I kept running from the smaller creature they brought to spar with me. Eventual they pulled me out of the ring and put me in front of them.

"Maxie you’re stronger now. Why don't you stand your ground and defend yourself, friend?' Dorry asked looking me in the eye. 'We know you're brave enough for it lad. Hell, you walked up to us and started talking to us no problem. Now what it is, Maxie? What keeps you from defending yourself?"

"I know I should. I know if I don't do it my life will end but will that really be a bad thing?' I asked them my voice getting smaller with each word, and my self-hate getting bigger in response. 'Is my small, insignificant life really worth hurting something else?" I didn't want to but my voice became a whine. And my grip on my arms started to hurt. 

"Maxie. Look at us, lad." Broggy said his voice gentle. That gentleness made me lift and saw Broggy and Dorry looking solemn. 

"You've got brain ghost don't you lad?" Sorry asked his voice equally as gentle as his rival.

"Brain ghost?" I asked unfamiliar with the term.

"Voices in your head that say 'You aren't worth it.' 'Just go ahead and die what would happen, 'The world would be better of your gone.' Those voices lad." Dorry explained.

"We had them too, lad. All great warriors who have fought in conflicts have. What you need lad is a reason not to run. A reason not to fall. Because for people like us lad it is sometimes all that can keep us going." Broggy said as he looked at Dorry.

"Go ahead you fool. He needs a bit sooner than we thought." Dorry said all smiles. Reaching into a pouch borough out a small piece of fabric and then handed it to me. Tilting my head I took it and unfolded it. It was a flag as big as me. And on it bore the Jolly Roger with a Viking helmet above the skull. On some level, I knew what this was. But I had to look up at Broggy and Dorry to confirm.

"Aye, lad. This the flag of the Giant Warrior Pirates. Under that flag, we sailed on countless adventures. Chased many a dream." Broggy said tears shining in his eyes.

"We lost many a friend too. Gained bonds that will last beyond this life. Cried and Laughed enough tears to fill the entire Red Line." Dorry said similar tears in his eyes.

"To be under this flag is to be a Giant Warrior Pirate. To carry all this flag has been for us and our crew. And now we give it to you. Out newest Nakama and member of the New Giant Pirates!" Dorry shouted his face all smile.

"And no you can't say no to it, lad. We have Shanghai you into service!' Broggy said with a laugh.

"And so next time those ghosts say you are worthless just say this in your heart. I AM A GIANT WARRIOR PIRATE!! ON MY BACK I CARRY MY NAKAMAS! BY HAND I DESTROY MY ENEMIES!! BY MY OTHER I RAISE UP MY NAKAMA!! HEAR ME WORLD AND TREMBLE FOR I AM A GIANT WARRIOR PIRATE!!" They shouted together, their voices seeming to echo throughout the world. And here I was crying over my brand new treasure. And when I felt their hands on me the tears came even harder. That night as I worked in my cave studying the Metal book, the scientist notes on the fruit, going overall I could remember about the world of One Piece (My reading only when an arc is done rule killing me here), and sewing the flag into a vest I made a vow. 

I would work harder than ever. I would stand tall. I would plant my feet and take the world head-on. I would not shame the name of the Giant Warrior Pirates!

End of Flashback 

And now I faced down Garfield, The Dread Lasagna eater, once again! there was still that part of me that wanted to run. That told me I was worthless. That voice was choked out by the weight of the Jolly Roger I wore on my back!

"Double Steel Gun!" I shouted as coating my hands in steel I slammed my open palms into his bottom jaw with a piston-like speed. The force was so great it broke off a fang and part of a bottom one. Although I don't think it noticed, being unconscious and all. I quickly put the fragments in my pants pocket for a souvenir.

"I did it!" I shouted doing a victory lap around the ring. After checking to make sure Garfield was still breathing. 

"Hey, Dorry? When you take him back to his cave please leave some meat for him as an apology.' I asked him the biggest grin on my face. Now I have decent power. All I need is speed. I thought to myself as Broggy lifted me out of the ring.

"Well done lad!" He said grinning. Just then the volcano went off. 

"Time again, old friend?" Dorry said moving a bit away.

"Aye! And today's is the day I finally get home to Eblaf and drink a mug in your honor!" Broggy laughed as his ax met Dorry's shield. And as always, while they have their duel I am sitting in a high tree reading the book on metals I found in the cave 

I had found some more stuff on my Devil Fruit. So i can become any metal so long as certain conditions are met. It has to be a metal that I know the elemental symbol and makeup for. If I forget that i can't use that metal. Which is why I have taken to writing down the metals from the book into a little journal I found. Holy frack, my power is studying… I died a little inside when I learned this. Moving on as I wiped a quiet tear. Now, I can't use more than one metal at a time for the moment, but I feel with more practice I could. Now I had two options for how i used my metal. I could either go partial or full body. Then came the weird part. I could turn off the weight of whatever metal i turned into. But when I did that I lost over half the power and defense the metal brought with it. 

As I read the book I hear a small whimpering from the base of the tree. Moving quickly down the tree, I follow the whimpering to a small den at the base of the tree. Looking inside I see a small wolf cub huddling in fear. With grey and tawny fur and from the size it couldn't be more than a couple weeks old. Seeing such a good boy act like this is there any wonder why I would help it.

Picking the cub up gently he got scared and bit my hand. I quickly suppressed going iron, seeing as that would harm the little guy. 

"Poor guy probably starving." Cradling the puppy in one, while still biting my hand. I brought a small strip of jerky from inside my vest, and using my teeth tore it to tiny bits. I brought the jerky a bit closer to the pup's mouth.

“Here you go, little guy, this will taste better,” I say conveying kindness and warmth. The puppy let go of my hand and with its eyes still closed sniffed the jerky. It paused for a bit before taking small bites of it. Seeing this caused a smile to appear on my face as I slowly sat down. Placing the cub on my lap and feeding it slowly. 

Two giant beatings later

“So our little friend has found a little friend, eh?” Broggy said sporting a new black eye after his recent tie. The cub was drinking a bowl of water and fruit juice in front of me. It had eaten nearly a pound of jerky and two bowls of juice. 

"Yep. Wonder what happened to his parents?" I say out loud as I scratch the puppy's head, it's green eyes closing in happiness. 

"Well, it could be it was the runt of the litter," Dorry said a bandage around his hand as he scratched his beard.

"Well, in any case, I picked him up. It is now my job to raise him. Isn't that right, little guy?" I ask the puppy holding him to my face as it barked and licked my face.

"Then we must give our new frien eh Dorry?" Broggy said with a laugh and a swig of his mead. They had been hiding it from me, but I knew where they hid it.

"Aye, but what name should it be?" Dorry asked stealing the jug from Broggy and taking a swig. He didn't hide his as well as Broggy. Taking a minute, I thought carefully. Then inspiration struck me as I looked at Broggy helmet.

"Garm. His name is Garm." I said looking Garm in the eyes and he howled happily. Causing me to laugh followed by Broggy and Dorry.

Two drunk Giants, a wolf pup, and one party later...

Life is good, I thought to myself as I laid in my bed, Garm curled up beside me. I worked out a new workout where I would do regular training in heavy mode and practice some more moves. 

"Hmm, should I practice Spacewalk or Storm Keg?" I wondered out loud. Yep, life was looking pretty good. (A/N: Just a year and a half till canon starts) 

"WAIT, WHAT?!.."

CHAPTER END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Storm Leg and Moonwalk are misspelled purposely. Limited Knowledge remember


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CaffinatedDragon A/N: God I love seeing the titles lmao. Hello, readers of LIG! This is your friendly neighborhood editor, btw
> 
> I couldn't do this without her 😁😁😁

Chapter 3

Dispelling a Fart

Or

The Tax Tax Man cometh

A year and a half later...

Waking up under a furry boulder is not exactly my favorite way to start the day. I thought as I clawed my way out from under Garm. Yeah, my little guy wasn't so little anymore after a year of dino meat and Giant’s mead. The latter of which ran out a few weeks ago to a chorus of Giant and doggy tears. 

Standing up from the bed with a yawn, I looked at myself in the mirror. Garm wasn't the only one to change this year. I was now standing at around 6'3" and filled out quite well if I do say so myself (Insert smug face). 

Unfortunately, I outgrew my clothes so I had to make new ones. Luckily, Dorry and Broggy were used to making their own clothes and were able to teach me. 

And honestly? I don’t want to think about what I’d have to do if they didn’t.

So grabbing a pair of leather pants, boots and my long sleeveless coat with the Giant Warrior Jolly Roger on the back, I got ready for the day. After taking care of hygiene, I grabbed a harpoon I’d made earlier last month(well I say harpoon but really it’s a pointy wooden spear) along with my trusty dino club, Lady Gentle, and went over to my dire wolf.

"Come on, Garm. Time to go fishing." I yawn, scratching his head to wake him up. 

Getting to his feet with a wide yawn, Garm stretched his back and hopped onto me, licking my face.

Now, seeing a wolf the size of a pony yawning might scare other people, but they didn't know his ultimate weakness: chin scratches. The ultimate weak spot for any sort of dog, fictional or otherwise.

"Iron Chin Scratcher." My hand goes iron as I scratched my precious doggo's chin. He loves the coolness of the metal, so this was even better than normal scritches to him.

Garm’s tail wagged ferociously, his eyes shut in bliss as he stopped licking me.

“Good boy,” I smiled, petting the scruff of his neck. “Come on, let’s go fishing.” Placing a travel pack snuggly on his back.

The dire wolf bounded out of the cave, playfully circling around a frozen squirrel (and honestly, I couldn’t blame it) as I followed after him. 

"Dorry, I’m heading to the east side of the island to fish. Need anything?" I shouted at the giant that was just waking up. 

"Naw, still stuffed from that Sea King last night. I’ll probably hunt something at around noon before the duel." Dorry waved me off, letting loose a massive yawn that shook the nearby treetops.

"All right then, I’ll come back when you guys tie." I walk away with a wave of my hand, whistling for Garm as I thought about their duel to the death. 

It took awhile for me to get used to it: Here were two friends dueling to the death over a fishing competition. A small, miniscule thing, and yet here they were giving everything they had fighting every day, all the time, for the past 100 years. 

That's when I realized why they were such amazing friends. Because they go at each other with their intent to kill. The absolute respect and pride one had for the other. And it wasn't my place to judge them. They lived like this long before I got here, and most likely would long after I left. 

It is amazing how fast someone can be after training with a weight of little over a ton for about a year and a half. I thought to myself as I sped through the jungle, Garm close at my heels and dodging the fallen trees and boulders as I went.

I can now get to both sides of the island in under an hour at a dead sprint. Keep in mind, Broggy and Dorry can do it in 1 as well. Yep, I was now I am an expert in the Joestar family secret technique... at least it’s base form. After that? Well, all the fallen trees attest to my failings. I was picking splinters out of my arms for hours after the first few tries!

Getting to the edge of the island on the back end of those giant skulls I started my prep. Taking the pack off Garm I took out some rope I scavenged from wrecked ships and secured one end to a nearby tree. While securing the other end to my harpoon. After doing this I secured a fishing line to a low hanging branch with some scented meat as bait. Then tie the string to hand went about my morning exercise.

"Heavy Lead Mode," I think out loud, bracing myself for the sheer increase in weight that caused me to sink into the ground slightly. Letting myself fall over due to the sheer weight, I started my pushups.

I had learned to space out my exercise throughout the day, or else I would be dead tired before noon (oh boy I’m definitely not forgetting that anytime soon, I have no wish to collapse in the middle of a spar again). As I started my regime I heard the volcano explode. Not long after, the heavy yet familiar thuds and vibrations of the two giants heading towards their battle.

There they go again. I think to myself in the middle of a pushup. My set of pushups was just about done when I felt a tug on the line. 

Finally, was wondering if I’d ever get a bite. I could hunt, but today I was in the mood for some fish or seafood.

Picking up my harpoon, I let my body go back to normal as I walked over to where my fishing line was, having yoinked some from the cave while I was prepping. With Garm beside me, I began pulling up the line when a massive claw came out of the water catching me. 

Thankfully I went Iron in time or else I would have been crushed by the giant crab that burst out of the water. 

“Holy- that hurt!” I wheeze, glaring at the twin stalks that were hovering just out of my reach. 

Unfortunately, I still got the wind knocked out of me.

Still clutching me in its claw a massive crab the size of a goddamn semi truck crawled onto land. It's shell was an electric blue color, it’s pincers waving around as it violently bubbled at me.

Taking his chance Garm moved at a blur, jumping on the crab’s head and with a violent crunch tore off an eyestalk. 

I guess that was too much for the crustacean, because it started to flail around the place.

Taking this chance I flung the harpoon into its unprotected mouth, causing it to release me and lodging the wood deep into the crab. The second my feet hit the ground, I sprinted towards the crab and drew LG from it’s holder on my back. 

Letting out a loud roar, I slammed all 2,000 pounds of bone weaponry into the harpoon butt, which sent it deep into the crab and killed it instantly.

"Whew." I wipe my forehead, sweat dripping down my face. Ripping the harpoon out of the crab, I take a look at our catch.

"What do you think, Garm? In the mood for crab gumbo?" I ask, a smile on my face as he barks happily. 

I then proceeded to rip all the arms and the claws off. Hey, if I didn’t do that they would be hitting the trees and getting raw crab meat everywhere. And that would just be a waste of hard-earned food, now wouldn’t it? 

Not to mention the fact that if Sanji ever finds out I wasted food while I was alone he might kill me, but that’s kinda obvious.

Tying them to Garm’s back and hoisting up it’s body we began to run back to the cave, my body rippling back into human flesh. As we ran, I felt a massive thud on the ground. 

"Huh, guess they finished early," I think out loud, changing course towards their dueling grounds. 

When I got there I froze at the sight of a massive wax… candle... cake...what? What the- oh god this is canon. Canon’s starting. Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap- 

I blur into sight behind Luffy, Usopp, and Carue, hearing a shout but dismissing it since I couldn’t hear what the person was saying.

Unsurprisingly, the trio heard me and whirled around to face me.

"Are you part of Baroque Works too?!" Luffy shouts fist held at the ready while Usopp readied his slingshot. 

I was so frazzled, I barely heard him even though we were right in front of each other.

"Wait, Luffy, I think this is the guy Broggy told me about." Usopp told him lowering his slingshot. At hearing the word giants I looked down at ground level. Knowing what I would see I thought I was prepared.

News flash, I wasn't.

"DORRY?! BROGGY?! NO!!" My two friends were on the ground, broken and bleeding. I tried to rush towards them but Luffy stopped me. The force of my charge sending him skidding back some. But his monstrous strength still holding me in place.

"Calm down!" He shouted holding me back. But I could barely hear him over the pounding of my heart. Dorry was just lying there, blood trickling out of his mouth and eyes unfocused. While Broggy lay chained to the ground tears in his eyes.

"What's this here? Someone else is living in on this prehistoric garbage heap?" Mr 3 scoffed, his voice oozing so much self-importance I’d vomit if the situation was different.

"Oh my, look at this Mr 5! I do believe the caveman is crying!" Ms. Valentine laughed, twirling her parasol as one of the more pompous voices I’ve heard came out of her mouth.

"I hate crying more than anything. That and dogs." He raised the pistol and fired at us. Not even thinking, I push Luffy behind me and cross my arms.

One Full Metal Heavy Iron mode turning on later, the explosive breath hits me. Too bad for the so-called ‘assassin’, the explosion felt more like a push in my metal form. Taking advantage of the smoke, I pull the crab off my back and place it between us and the agents. 

And just as quickly turned to the two and began to plan. Thank God for adrenaline, what would I do without it?

"Okay, I can separate that Taxman from the Fart and Ms. Heavy Load. Luffy can you take care of the Tax guy?" I ask him

"Yep! Leave it to me. But the Mr.3 guy said his wax is hard as steel, so I can't break it." He pouts. I hand him my club and mentally face fault when he adopts a dumb looking facial expression.

"It is made of dino bone and harder than steel should help.' His eyes begin to literally sparkle. 'No you can't keep it." I finish and he looks like a child who got his gift taken away on Christmas.

"Okay, Usopp if I can get the Fart Man away from Heavy Lady can you deal with her and melt that candle thing?" I ask the snipper.

"How do you know my name?" He asked eyes wide.

"Not important right now. Can you?" I ask staring him in the eyes. He started to tremble I fear before taking a look at Broggy and Dorry. Then moving his gaze over to his friends stuck on the candle. 

"NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A BRAVE WARRIOR OF THE SEA!" He shouted lowering his goggles. I tried not to notice the trembling in his legs. 

Now just one more loose end...

"Garm, heel," I call my wolf to me and with a quick yank of the rope the crab limbs clattered to the ground. Then looked Garm in the eyes.

"Okay Garm, you see that little girl in the large hat?” I asked him as he barked in affirmative. “Good, catch her and don't let her near those paints." He growled in understanding. Just then a massive white sword cleaved straight through the crab, forcing us to dodge. 

"I would say sorry to interrupt but that would imply I actually cared." Mr 3 smirked as he raised another wax sword.

"Now!" I shouted as I tensed all the muscles in my leg briefly before turning Heavy Iron off.

"Iron Storm!" I shout, kicking an air blade between 3 and 5 and causing 3 to jump back. Ignoring the throbbing in my leg (ow ow ow ow ow ow) I dashed towards Mr 5 while throwing my harpoon at Ms. Valentine. Seeing the incoming harpoon Mr 5 swung his fist at the oncoming harpoon exploding it on contact. Not noticing me until I was right on top of him. Coating my body in heavy iron I slammed it into his neck ignoring the explosion.

"Iron Lariat!" I shouted, sending him flying into the trees from the impact. But I guess he wasn't a top assassin for nothing because he recovered. And taking a kneeling position he began coughing violently into his gun. And fired it at me as I ran at him now in Iron HO mode. 

"Breeze Breath Bomb!" He shouted his voice in pain. Crossing my arms I rushed into the explosions, ignoring the dull pain from the explosions. Seeing his attack doing no damage he rushed at me, sheathing his gun. Throwing a low kick at my leg, he tried to disable me. The second his leg hit me it exploded. 

"Aaaahhhh!!" He shouted, trying to get some distance, but his damaged leg was slowing him down. So taking a large step forward I swung a massive right uppercut at him. But his experience saved him as he narrowly leaned back in time to dodge it. But he wasn't able to dodge the front kick to his chest. The force of the blow sent him flying back into a nearby tree. Doubling over he threw up...rainbows?

How the hell does that work? Ignoring it for the time being, I rushed him as fast as I could.

Seeing me coming he placed both hands in his pockets before bringing out a pair knuckle dusters. Acting quickly, I turtled up by using Heavy Lead, my feet sinking into the ground.

"Bomb Knuckle!" He started throwing punch after explosive punch.And I’ll say this much for him: every blow did hit a vital area. 

Shame for him, our fruits were just a bad match up. His blows felt like a heavy push more than anything. He kept throwing punches until his breathing became labored and sweat poured down his.

"You really need to work on your cardio Fart Man," I lower my guard,.

"What in the seas are you?" He gasped, probably getting the wind knocked out of him from damage and exhaustion.

"I am three things as of right now. A Metal Man, a Giant, and very pissed off!" I shouted at him turning my body from Lead to Steel.

"Double Steel Gun!" I slam two steel palms into his chest and felt his ribs crack under them. As he doubled over I grabbed him from the back and lifted, his upside-down face next to my own.

"Steel Suplex!" I shouted jumping back and slamming Mr 5 on the ground with enough force to crack the ground. Seeing him lying blood dripping from his mouth I knew he was out for the count. So I got up to leave.

... I didn't get past a few steps before letting out a massive sigh.

"I can't leave him here to be freaking eaten," I grimace. So turning around without turning off Steel Mode or Heavy I slung the unconscious man over my shoulder after checking his pulse and walked back to the clearing. Confident in Luffy... and Usopp, I promise.

Although I do have less confidence in the long-nosed sniper…  
Chapter End


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CaffinatedDragon A/N: Honestly, I could see how anyone would be tired of filing taxes XD Enjoy this chapter!

Burning some Kilos

Or

Tired of all these Taxes

The second Maxie made his move, Usopp was right behind him on Karue. Luffy was across from him, rushing Mr. 3 with the LG in hand. 

Usopp was curious how that caveman looking guy knew his name, but right now his friends came first. Using a rope from his bag he quickly fashioned a lasso. And using his natural dexterity tossed it around Miss Valentine. Thanks to Vivi’s duck (it was so fast! So cool!) they were dragging the Baroque Works woman as far as they could away from her partner and Mr 3.

"Witness my rope technique that has captured a thousand beasts!" Usopp shouted right before the rope went taut sending him and Karue crashing to their backs. 

"Ara, did you forget about my Devil Fruit, Mr. Tengu?" She scoffed, standing up and removing the rope from around her.

Taking her eyes off the sniper for eveh a moment was a bad move on her part.

"Exploding Star!" Usopp shouted firing his slingshot at her. She just smiled smugly and turned to her partner... and realized she was separated from him just as the explosion hit. Sending her skidding back but doing little damage due to its low gunpowder. 

Well, except to her hair. The sight of which caused Karue and Usopp to laugh hysterically, rolling around on the forest ground. Panicked, Miss Valentine quickly took a small hand mirror from her pocket and looked upon the most glorious hairstyle of the seas... the afro. 

"You freak nosed loser!!" She shouted, breaking the hand mirror in rage.

"Ha! That will teach you not to mess with the Dread Pirate Usopp." He shouted posing in front of a tree. His face is upturned in triumph.

"Kilo Garrote!" She shouted, using her fruit to weigh one kilo and dashed at Usopp who lost sight of her. Thankfully someone did not. With a sharp quack, Karue gave a hard kick to his backside, sending him rolling out of the way. Just as a loud crash sounded through the air. 

"Dammit, duck, that hurt… urrrrk." He strangled out, seeing the tree fall over. It had been shattered from Miss Valentine's blow. Karue sharing his same terrified expression. Seeing such faces, she began to laugh hysterically.

"Kyahahahaah! That’s right, Tengu Boy! Realizing how far out of your depth you are?" She taunted, twirling her parsol in her hands.

"More realizing you are a heavy load," Usopp said braver than he felt. The second it came out he covered his mouth in fear, his mind computing what he just said. But it was too late.

"HEAVY LOAD?!" She shouted, her rage palpable. With a quick twist of her parasol, a blade snapped out of the tip of her parasol. But before she could move Usopp went into action!

"Smoke Star!" He shouted firing his smokescreen star at his feet and at Miss Valentine. "Okay, Usopp think! How can I beat her? What would a Brave Warrior do?! He thought to himself. Then an idea came to him. I get one thought at this. He readied his slingshot. 

" Carue come here! Double Star Kill!" He shouted firing two stars at Miss Valentine. Hitting her in the face and chest. A disgusted look came showed up her face.

"What is this rotten egg?!" She shouted wiping at her face. 

"Yeah, it fits your face well doesn't it?" Usopp shouted fleeing back to the clearing on Carue.

Letting out a banshee-like shriek she went into the one-kilo mode and chased after the duo. Their speed was just about even. The only thing keeping Carue in the lead was he started first. As they entered the clearing where the giant candle was Usopp shot a couple of lead stars at the agent. But using the lightness of her fruit was able to dodge.

"Your pretty light on your feet Miss Heavy Load." He mocked, taking a cloth out of his bag and covering himself and Carue as they jumped on the candle. Screaming in rage she jumped on the candle after them. He held in the horror at seeing his friends encased in wax. "Hold on guys, I’ll save you soon."He thought as he threw bottles of liquid from his bag. 

Running around on the candle the liquid spread all over it, Miss Valentine close on his heels. When he made a complete loop around the candle Usopp threw an especially large bag at Broggy and dropped some caltrops, Carue jumping off the cake just as the cloth was covered in wax. 

Unable to stop herself Miss Valentine stepped on the caltrops digging into her feet. Falling to the ground the pain cleared her anger. Making her realize two things. One was that she was slowly being covered in wax. The other was that she and the candle were covered in oil. Too late.

"Exploding Star!" Usopp shouted, firing his slingshot. The candle exploded in a storm of melted wax and fire. 

"I did it!! I the brave Captain Usopp have defeated the Evil Miss Heavy!" He celebrated, falling off of Carue in exhaustion. Opening his eyes, he let out a strangled gasp as he saw Miss Valentine floating above him, her outfit burned and singed. 

"MEGA KILO PRESS!" She yelled, going as heavy as she could to squash the Straw Hat Sniper. Thankfully he made it just the time when he destroyed the candle. A staff, sword, and peacock slasher all intercepted her attack sending her flying to the side and into dreamland. 

"Damnit Usopp! You couldn't free us without running my outfit?" Nami complained, leaning on her staff.

"Kinda a shame really, had a cool pose and everything," Zoro yawned, sheathing his sword.

"You two have odd ways of saying thank you," Vivi said giving the two an odd look, while Carue hugged her crying, quacking with happiness at seeing her safe.

"It’s more we had faith in our sniper." Nami said trying to get the loose wax out of her hair. Zoro just nodded in agreement. Hearing this Usopp couldn't help but jump up and pose.

"Hahahahaha, it was all thanks to my genius planning! My mind has conquered a thousand battles!" He pointed his nose to the sky. 

"What happened to Miss Goldenweek?" Vivi questioned, ignoring the snipper. Looking around for Mr 3’s partner and seeing something that made her go wide-eyed. 

The dreaded Baroque Works agent was playing with a giant Direwolf. 

"Good boy, good boy." She squealed, scratching his chin. Her bag full of paints was lying abandoned in the corner, uncaring about the fact the Straw Hats were free and her group was down by two. 

"I think she’s out of the fight," Nami sweatdropped. 

"My plan worked perfectly!" Usopp boasted, striking a pose.

"Do most of your plans involve trembling legs?" Maxie asked walking up to the group with Mr 5 on his shoulders. Tossing him next to Miss Valentine while walking towards them. As he walked the group was stunned on seeing his dark gray skin turn into a tanned, more natural color. 

When he got closer to the group, Zoro unsheathed his sword and placed it against his neck in a blur of motion.

"And who are you?" He asked, his gaze as sharp as Ichimonji. 

"Hi, my name is Maximus and I can’t remember my full name. I ate the Metal Metal

Fruit, and I don't really like blades at my throat. Especially since I kinda helped save your life." Maxie answered, staying calm despite being very aware of the sharp blade at his neck and gis gaze just as hard.

Zoro seemed satisfied with this, and he sheathed his sword. 

"Wait, did you say the Metal Metal fruit?' Vivi asked, backing up slightly, “That cursed fruit that caused every past user to die violent, horrible and awful deaths?" Maxie just kinda gave her blank stare before doubling over with a sigh. 

"Yes the one and the same," Maxie sighed. Then a loud crash echoed, a large white object crashing into the clearing. 

Maxie quickly turned around, his arm turning to Steel, Zoro’s hand flying to the hilt of his sword. As the dust cleared Mr 3 staggered to his feet, the remnants of his Candle Champion cracking off his body. 

"Gum Gum Pistol Club!" Luffy’s arm stretched back far, and he brought the club forward with all the power of a wrecking ball straight into the assassin.

What was left of Mr 3's armor was shattered as he was sent hurtling into the ground. His face so bruised and battered you wouldn't recognize him.

"This thing is awesome!" Luffy shouted, holding up LG with stars in his eyes.

"YOU STILL CAN'T HAVE IT!" Maxie shouted, breaking his happy mood. Grabbing Mr 3, he dumped him by the other Agents.

"Ugh, I don't think I can look at a candle the same ever again," Broggy said, shaking off the leftover wax as he sat up. Before a small (relatively small) object launched itself at his chest. 

"Broggy!" Maxie shouted, hugging Broggy while Garm leaned on the giant pirate whining. Tears cascaded down Maxie's face as he hugged his friend. Gaining his bearing Broggy started crying too placing a hand over the barbarian hs other over Garm.

"MAXIE IT'S AWFUL!! DORRY! DORRY IS-!" A loud groan cut him off.

"Dorry is currently dying from a splitting body ache," Dorry deadpanned, sitting up. Only to get knocked down by a sobbing group consisting of a giant, a Metal Man, and a direwolf. 

"DORRY!”

“YOU’RE ALIVE!”

''WOOF!"

They dogpiled him, sending him crashing to the ground with a painful oof. As his friends lay crying on top of him.

"You're alive!" Broggy shouted, the happiness clear on his tearful face.

"That blow nearly killed me though.” He winced. Then he took a look around the strewn wax pieces, Garm being hugged by Miss Goldenweek, and the agents piled on top of each other. “Guess I missed the party. What happened?" He asked while clutching his shoulder wound.

...

An explanation and a tying up of Baroque Works members later...

"So Maxie beat his first pirate? This calls for a drink!" Dorry shouted, wincing at the pain from his wound.

"Maybe save the drinking till you recover, Master." Usopp said trying to calm down the injured Giant.

"I’ll go get us something to eat." Now that Broggy and Dorry were now safe, I needed to go clear my head and figure out how to tell Luffy and the others the truth. I wanted, no, needed them to trust me for what I was, not some sort of lie. Turning around I whistled for Garm to come as I ran out of the clearing, not looking back to see if he was following.

"Wait hold on!" Usopp shouted behind me, but I wasn't ready to answer his questions yet. 

Yes, I was scared. Sue me, I’ve never had to do this before. I tried to push all the traitorous thoughts of being rejected out of my mind. Maybe some violence would help.

P.O.V. change 

"He is quite fast." Vivi commented, watching the Metal Man run out of the clearing with his wolf to presumably start some dinosaur violence.

"Wonder why he ran away so fast?" Nami asked, while going through the Baroque Works agents pockets for anything valuable.

"He is probably trying to buy time so he can figure a way to tell us he is from another world." Broggy said tending to Dorrt who simply nodded in agreement.

"EEEEHHHHHHH?!! FROM ANOTHER WORLD?!" The Straw Hats shouted in unison.

"...oops. I wasn't supposed to tell you that." Broggy said, laughing and scratching his head like the oblivious (sometimes) idiot he was. Dorry sighed and gave his friend a swift punch to the head. 

"Wait hold on! He told you he is from another world?!" Nami shouted, her face full of confusion. 

"Well more we figured it out really." Dorry said, moving his wrapped up shoulder checking it. 

"HOW?!" Vivi yelled, Devil Fruit she could understand. World travelling was a whole different beast altogether. 

They shrugged in response.

"It was a couple of things really." Broggy answered. 

"Main thing was when he would walk around in his sleep muttering 'Stuck in a manga world, watch for Bakainu, Oda wrote a messed up world.' " Dorry replied honestly.

"And you never thought to ask him?" Usopp asked, his eyes wide in disbelief. Surprisingly, Luffy spoke up in defense.

"Everyone has a secret they can't talk about. If he’s nakama all you can do is wait for him to talk about it." He laughed, arms on the back of his head and a smile on his face. Zoro nodded his head in silent agreement. Not able to refute their captain’s words, the rest of them fell silent.

"So what do I do?" Miss Goldenweek deadpanned behind them, making them all jump in surprise. 

Chapter End


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CaffinatedDragon A/N: In the ‘not from here’ way. Also angst.

Chapter 5  
When it finally hits home  
Or  
I get outed by Giants

"I think I may have hunted too much." I tell Garm as I load the 3rd dino on the sled. Thankfully I thought ahead and stopped by the cave to get it, otherwise it would take much longer to get all of this back to them.

… well, it’s been a couple of hours. This is enough for the group, and Dorry and Broggy usually hunt their own food. 

"I can't put this off any more can I?" I ask Garm, whose response was to just give me a hard look. I hate it when he’s right, I think balefully. 

Letting out a sigh, I made sure the fruits and vegetables I scrounged up were secure in his pack before giving my wolf a quick Iron Chin Scratch. I strapped myself to the sled and began running, Garm’s nose guiding us back to the group while I thought about how to tell them my secret.

It wasn't long before I saw my cave and the group consisting of the SH and Giants gathered around a fire. And it looked like Sanji had joined up judging by the shouting between him and Zoro.

"Is your brain literally moss at this point?!' Sanji shouted at Zoro, a large hippo like creature next to him. “My catch is clearly bigger than yours, Moss Head!"

"Maybe you should uncover your other eye so you can see clearly, shitty cook!' Zoro fired back, a rhino-like beast of similar size to the hippo next him. 

You could see literal sparks flying between their heated gazes, both of them too stubborn to coincide to the other. Seeing them like this, I smiled nostalgically. It is funnier in real life, I thought to myself, jogging towards the group for my important… 2nd impression.

"Umm excuse me I brought some… “ It was at this point that I tripped on something, and skidded the last few feet before stopping at their feet. “I brought some more food. Being helpful…..I promise, I know how to walk." I really tried to keep the embarrassment out of my voice, but I got the sneaking suspicion that I didn’t.

"Shishishi, he's funny!" Luffy laughed from atop the boulder. Just roll with it, I think to myself, scrambling to my feet and unhooking the sleigh as I went. 

"Hello My Maxie is named. I don't age my know. And Metal the ate Fruit!" I shouted trying to rid myself of these nerves wrecking my brain. Meanwhile, Zoro and Sanji were studying the three dinos and food I had hunted in a couple of hours. 

All of a sudden, they both let out a large sigh and walked towards me.

"You win." They clapped me on my shoulders as they walked by. 

...That was odd.

"So I guess you have some questions for me." I say standing up and keeping the unease out of voice.

"Naw, not really. Broggy and Dorry already told us you came from another world." Luffy said casually, as if he was talking about the weather.

…..huh?

"HUH?!" I shout, my mouth hanging open in shock. "How the hell did they find out?!” I mutter before a thought struck me struck me like lightning. "I talk in my sleep, don't I?" Broggy and Dorry just silently nodded their heads. 

"Why didn't you guys ever ask me about it?" I questioned Broggy and Dorry.

"Because, little one. You are our Nakama.” Dorry smiled.

"And we trust our Nakama. No matter how often they try sleep dancing into active volcanoes.”

“That was one time!” I hiss, blushing furiously and ignoring the snickering coming from the male Straw Hats. “You ever going to let me forget it?!”

“Nope,” they chorused. “The volcano is on the opposite side of the island, and we camp in the middle of it. You sleep walked all the way to the volcano and almost fell in.”

“Wait, you did what to a volcano?” Vivi gaped, making me facepalm in embarrassment. " Wait! We are getting off track here! How did you get here from another world?" She asked staring me in the eye.

"I don't know.' I said honestly keeping eye contact. 'Haven't really been curious about it to be honest."

"Why not?" She asked eyes wide

"Been trying not to get eaten." I replied, “Huh. How did I get here?"

Now that I think about it, all I remember before getting here is walking down a sidewalk to get home, then somehow I was being chased by a very lethal dino.

“You really don’t know how you got here?” Nami squinted suspiciously at me, making me sweatdrop.

“I can’t remember my last name, my entire being revolts at the word ‘mother’, and there’s other gaps in my memory,” I sighed, rubbing my head as I felt a headache begin to form. “I do remember other things, but how I got here? One giant blank in my memory.”

“Maybe he just got lost and ended up here?” Zoro said, palm on his chin and a thinking expression on his face. Nami dope slapped him.

“Idiot! You don’t get lost and end up in a different world!” She seethed, a red bump forming on the swordsman’s head.

“What was that for, woman?!” He yelled back, setting off Sanji. 

"Don't you yell at my Nami Swan~" Sanji shouted back, hearts in his eyes… how does he see like that?

Meh, probably shonen anime bullshittery. I’m not even gonna touch the fact that some laws on Earth apply here, but others don’t.

“Oh boy…” Vivi deadpanned, staring at the unfolding brawl between 2 of the Monster Trio. “And there they go again.”

Garm huffed in amusement from his spot on the ground, opting to watch the fight in peace. Shoot, I forgot to undo the harness.

Quickly untying the sled of meat from him, I gave him another Iron Chin Scratch as I hauled the meat off. “Is there a chef in your crew, or will I have to roast these over a spit-?”

“Let me see that!” I blinked in surprise as Sanji somehow detached himself from the fight, instantly appearing next to me and running a keen eye over the meat. “Good quality meat, freshly caught to boot… some basic vegetables and fruits on the sled with more meat, enough for the rest of the crew to have a decent amount even with Luffy’s share accounted for…”

“... I’m just going to let him do his own thing,” I muttered, watching with fascination as Sanji muttered recipes and what I assume are the names of numerous spices and other cooking paraphernalia. “How the heck does he do that?”

“Our cook is really good!” Luffy smiled a megawatt grin from his position next to Sanji.

“Yeah, yeah- how the heck did you get there?!” I did a double-take, only just realizing that the dinosaurs that Sanji and Zoro had caught were sizzling over a fire. “Weren’t you on that boulder?”

Once again, anime logic. Wow, it really screws with my head sometimes.

“That’s Luffy for you,” Usopp laughed, having taken the space vacated by his captain. “He loves Sanji’s cooking.”

“Back to the topic at hand!” Nami snapped. “You said you’re from a different world, right? Then how did you know our names?”

… And just like that, all the attention’s on me again. Yay.

“This is gonna take a while,” I groan, collapsing against Garm and sinking into his fluffy fur. “Ok, first you guys have to promise that you won’t kill me for saying what I’m about to say. I’m just the messenger here.”

“...ok?” Assent came from the others, and I relaxed a bit.

“Here goes…” I took a deep breath, and turned to Luffy.

"Luffy, have you ever heard a story as a child about an amazing land where everything is the same, and yet different? Where people can fly, have immense power, and move mountains?”

“For me, you and your crew was that story. Where I come from, millions have read the story of the man who would be King of the Pirates, created by a man named Oda."

Nami inhaled sharply, but I did my best to ignore her and the rest of the looks being aimed at my direction.

“And now, I have the chance to be a part of that story, to try and change what is to come and create a new path. My knowledge may be limited, my strength may be lacking. But please,” I bow to him “ Let me see the adventure of the next Pirate King with my own eyes."

… Luffy was just standing there with his eyes closed and a snot bubble out his nose as he snored.

"Did you hear anything I just said?!"

The snot bubble popped, and he looked at me as if I was crazy. "Yeah. You want friends, right?"

...That was blunt. “Long story short, yeah. Being on an island with only 2 other people and a wolf for company doesn’t do any favors to my mental health.”

…and cue the stares. Pity stares. Whoop de freakin’ do, I thought this crew of all people would understand that the world is a messed up place.

“It’s not anything really big, it’s just… not very fun being stuck here when the only thing I can do is train until I collapse.” I laughed weakly, slowly wilting underneath the looks they were giving me.

“Likely story.” Zoro said.

“Not like you should be talking, mister ‘Tried to cut my legs off’,” I retorted, putting up a brave face when in reality I was starting to break down. 

Nononononono this is not the time to break down, not in front of all of them, especially not now! I quickly slammed a mental gate down, suppressing as much as I could without curling into the fetal position.

“...I doubt you’re really ok,” Usopp frowned. “You mentioned hating the word mother-” 

“I would really rather not have a therapy talk right now,” I cut him off, Garm licking my cheek. “Hey!”

The direwolf proceeded to lick my entire face, making me sputter and the Straw Hats to laugh, their minds taken off of the subject. “Down, boy! Down!”

After a few minutes I managed to get him to stop, getting rid of the wolf slobber at the river before going back to the crew and continuing the conversation. Inwardly, I thanked Garm for distracting them and made a memo to give him the biggest bone I could get before leaving the island… if they would have me.

Walking back to the group, I accepted a plate of roasted meat from Sanji, who gave me a curt nod before I walked back to my spot.

“Ok, I explained how I knew your names, you guys want to know anything else?”

Nobody talked for a few minutes, preoccupied with eating the food Sanji had prepared. Then Viv spoke up. “Did you have any friends that’ll miss you?”

And now I regret all my life decisions. How the heck do I answer this? Uhhh, “Some people decided to take the story of the man who would become King of the Pirates,” I nodded at Luffy, who had a giant dino leg in his hands and was currently ripping into it with gusto “And decided to put their own little spin to it.”

“...like they added stuff to it?” Sanji questioned, handing Luffy another hunk of meat.

“Added things and took away things, added people and let others join the crew, the list goes on and on and on,” I cleared my plate and nodded thanks when he refilled it. “But there is one that’s now famous in the fandom, one called This Bites.”

“I’m part of that fanbase, and the creators of it made a server on Discord to let us all discuss things on it-”

“What’s Discord?” Vivi tilted her head in confusion.

“This is gonna take a while,” I sighed.

One long explanation later…

“Ahh, so this ‘internet’ thing and the ‘servers’ let people all across the world talk to each other? That’s amazing!” Usopp gushed, stars appearing in his eyes.

“It is pretty cool.” Zoro admitted, cleaning his swords by the fire.

“Why’d you have to explain all of that?” Nami asked, yawning.

“Because you guys kept on asking questions,” I deadpan. “Anyways, to answer your question Vivi, most of my friends are on that server and talk to me through that… yeah, they’re probably missing me.” I wince at the thought of Glee or V being sad over my disappearance.

God, Spoken must have freaked out after the first few days. Aaron probably tried to get to Mississippi to find me, Caff might have met up with him to join in searching for me despite being a kid still-

And now that more than a year’s passed, they’ve probably given up all hope of seeing me appear on Thiscord again. Oh God, my friends... 

Tears started to cascade down my face, and I curled up into the fetal position and cried.

“H-hey! What happened? Why are you crying?” Vivi panicked, flailing her arms around as the giants panicked behind her.

“Maxie! What’s wrong?!” Dorry asked concern clear in his voice.

“Nothing, just some really unfortunate revelations and the fact that my friends probably think I’m dead…”

“THAT’S NOT NOTHING!!” Broggy shouted in response.

“I’M TRYING TO NOT FALL INTO A PANIC ATTACK YOU IDIOTS!”

Garm grabbed me by my collar, hoisting me up to his back amidst my panicked yelp and dashed inside the cave, ignoring the giants and the crew’s calls to come back.

Chapter End


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Kidnappers!

Or

Zoro's new scratching post

“Uuuugh…” I groan as I felt Garm shift on top of me. “Why the heck are you on top of me…?”

Memories of the last night came back, and I groaned, covering my eyes with an arm. “Nevermind, thanks for the save their buddy.”

After Garm dragged me away from the pseudo-interrogation, I cried into his fur for hours, eventually falling asleep from exhaustion. I guess Dorry or Broggy told them to not bother me, or maybe Garm chased them off.

Either way, he really saved my butt from having to talk about This cord so there’s that.

...ah crap did the Straw Hats leave without us? Oh god, what about the timeline?! Okay just gotta calm down here. First, make sure Nami isn't bitten, and if she is, rush her to the Bum Kingdom. And maybe I don't mess up and Chopper will still join them. ‘Cause let's face it after last night, there's no way they’re gonna want me.

“WAKE UP!”

“SONNUVA-!” I bolted up, falling into a fighting stance with my arms turning to Iron. Garm was right next to me, growling at the newcomer coming through the hatch-

hatch?.... since when the hell did caves have hatches?

“You’re awake!” Luffy cheered, oblivious to my internal freak-out. You’re part of my crew now, you got it?” He pointed a finger at me, mood-changing so fast I’m surprised he didn’t get whiplash. “No more sad stuff, Nami said it’s not good for you!”

“W-what-?” I shouted, leaning back on the bed as it rocked. Wait a minute!!! The land doesn't rock!!

The ship -oh my god I’m on the Merry- lurched to the side, almost making me fall to the ground. Thankfully Garm leaned against me I time. 

"Anyway, Sanji has breakfast ready. Come eat some. You did catch most of it." Luffy said with a smile as he ran away.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" I shouted running up the stairs after Luffy. “WHY AM I-”

“On the Going Merry?” Usopp said, leaning against the wall.

-

“Well yes, but- how the heck did you get here so quickly?!” I did a double-take.

“Come on!” A rubbery hand looped around my waist, making me pale as I realized that Luffy was still running.

“Nononono wait- OOF!” I slammed into a wall, bouncing off of it and getting dragged up to the deck. Thankfully I went Iron heavy off or else I might have hurt the ship. And me too. I am important too.

"No sad thoughts remember!" Luff shouted as he rounded the corner. How the hell did he do that? 

Two rights, a staircase, and some mild head trauma later

"Food!" Luffy shouted sprinting into the lounge and to his seat. His arm trailed behind him and just as it brought me into the kitchen he let go. The force sent me rolling across the floor. Thankfully I turned off Iron or I might have gone through the wall when I hit.

“Owww…” I groan, staggering to my feet. “That hurt.” I can already feel the knot on my head growing.

"Morning Maxie. Come grab a seat." Sanji said setting a large plate of omelets and veggies on an empty seat in front of Luffy. He was already on his third plate. How the hell does he eat that fast and not choke? 

…. Oh right, stretchy throat. But didn’t he do this when he was still on Dawn Island? Wait he had his Devil Fruit then, forgot...

"Before that, I have some.." I start to talk before I get a whiff of the food. Oh dear god. It’s like god holding the softest marshmallows and just baking it in the sweetest syrup. Before I knew it, I was at the table chowing down almost as fast as Luffy. Taking a look around the table I saw Usopp(how the hell did he get here first?), Nami, Vivi and Zoro all eating as well. Caure eating breakfast next to Vivi on the floor.

“So how did you guys even get me and Garm on the Merry in the first place?” I question, rubbing the direwolf on the head as he napped underneath my seat. I know I should be freaking out but this food was so damn good!!“I’m pretty sure that it would be hard to lug around 400 pounds of wolf and me onto a ship.”

“Oh, that? That was the easy part, your wolf-”

Garm growled.

“Sorry, Garm, picked you up by the collar and dragged you here himself. The hard part was convincing him that we weren’t going to try anything fishy,” Usopp laughed, sweat dropping at Garm’s overprotectiveness.

“Dorry and Broggy?”

Usopp perked up. “Actually, they gave us their Transponder Snail number so that you could contact them at any time!”

"What happened to the Agents?" I asked Vivi, as Carue tried to steal food from Garm only to get tail-smacked.

"What about all my stuff? My books, my gears, and my traps?" I asked stabbing a fork at Luffy's hand edging towards my plate. I think gave him the stink eye and turned back to Usopp.

"It is all in the guys' rooms. We cleared out your cave. There was a lot." Usopp answered letting out a sigh. Hold the phone.

"But I woke up in the guys' room. I didn't see any of it?" I asked confused now. Sanji replacing my plate with another full one whole tossing Garm some seasoned meat. I never knew he could smile that big.

"Oh because I gave you my room. The bed is softer. I know those kinda tears. Soft beds help so much.” Nami said eating her food with one hand while reading the paper in the other. “After all, I am an angel of the seas after all." 

"...you kicked us out of the boys' room and made us sleep outside," Usopp deadpanned, eyeing the navigator. 

"And because I am such an angel,” she continued bashing Usopp on the nose with her paper. “I am only gonna charge you about 9 million Berries for the night." She smiled devilishly

"All right. Garm.” I called my wolf attention as he finished his third platter of meat. “Bring me the wallet please." With a sharp bark he rushed out of the room and within a few minutes came back with a small pouch in his mouth, dropping it in Nami lap. Confused, Nami picked up the pouch and opened it.

I swear to God, Berry symbols flashed on her eyes, and a gold aura surrounded her.

“HOW DID YOU GET THIS?!?!” She shrieked with pure elation, spinning around in circles and clutching the bag to her chest as Garm whined, his paws over his ears from the loud sound.

“You know how my Devil Fruit lets me turn into any metal I want?”

She nodded

“Well, I figured out how to turn into gold, and when I cut off a piece of my hair it stayed gold. So I decided to cut my hair as gold whenever I needed a trim-”

“YOU’RE A GOLD PRODUCING MACHINE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE-”

She rushed out of the room, the ear-splitting screech making Garm whine more and stick his head underneath my leg. The rest of the crew and I had our hands clasped around our ears, even Sanji.

“Holy crap,” Usopp breathed in shock, staring at the open door.

“YOU-!” Sanji blurred into sight in front of me eyes literally blazing with rage.

"Mermaids are real." I say survival instinct kicking in. At this Sanj paused, his eyes narrowed like a tactical sight on a nuke.

"You swear." He asked foot raised to destroy.

"On Garm's life." Hearing this Garm gave my leg a quick bite in protest. He slowly lowered his foot and went back to cleaning up 

"What are we gonna do about you sleepwalking though?" Usopp asked carrying his dishes to Sanji.

"Maybe we should lock him in a room when he sleeps. Would fix the sleepwalking problem." Zoro suggests eating breakfast.

Hearing the words locked in a room my body begins to tremble. Locked doors feed once a day. I hold myself tightly as the crew just stares at my reaction.

"I promise to be good. Please don't lock me away. Please. I will be a good son." I say out loud rocking myself.

As the crew hears this it is surprisingly Sanji who springs into action. Rushing to me he gently hugs me and says.

"No one is gonna lock you away anymore. You're free of the monster and we will never hide you away. You're a good person worthy of love." I lean into his chest and breathing in the scent of good food and spices. Meanwhile, I can hear Luffy smacking Zoro for making the Nakama sad again. 

"Anyone up for some sparring. Exercise helps me calm down." I ask after the Sanji hug help me calm down. And afterward I can check with Nami see how she is. Then call Broggy and Dorry and yell at them for letting me kidnapped.

"Sounds good to me. I wanna see how tough the metal of our new Nakama is." Zoro says with an animal grin. I may regret this..

"Ready?" Zoro asked drawing his Kitetsu and Yabarashi in both hands. At least he isn't going full Three Sword yet. Wow. What does it say that I want to make him use it? I thought to myself coating my arms in Heavy Iron and drawing my club in my right hand. Thankfully I had Garm fetch it from my gear. The other Straw Hats and Vivi, and Carue were watching from the second floor. Meanwhile, me and Zoro were by the main mast. Holding my club down at an angle I lowered my stance. And answered honestly.

"Not really." I said with a grin. And like that Zoro rushed me.

P.O.V change no jutsu!

It was a cool late morning as the Straw Hats gathered in the 2nd floor deck to watch their new crewmate survive against their First Mate. 

"So exactly how strong is Maxie anyway?" Sanji asked, lighting a cigarette. Sitting on the railing next to him Luffy had a large grin. 

"Strong enough this is gonna be a good show. Shishishishishi." He said with a laugh. Meanwhile, Nami has reappeared with a skip on her step and wide smile. Seeing her new money machine ...I mean friend about to fight set her off.

"Oi Zoro you better leave him in one piece or I am skinning you alive!" She shouted, her promise of death causing her creates to shiver. Usopps and Carue took a big step away from her. Truly they were the smart ones of the group.

Getting into his stance, Zoro was the first to move. He moved so fast the average person would lose track. Thankfully, Maxie was used to last-minute-blocks, getting his left iron arm up in time to block the blow. The swords slammed into Maxie so hard he had to kneel from the force. If he didn't have heavy on that blow would have broken skin. Making use of the opportunity Maxie slammed his club head into the First Mates gut sending him skidding back from the blow. Standing up from the blow Zoro gave the Metal Man a small grin as he patted his stomach.

"Not bad, Maxie. But your gonna have to do better than that." He shouted, rushing Maxie going full speed. Acting quick Maxie went full Steel heavy off and crossing his arms prepared himself for the blows. Soon the sound of clanging filled the air as Zoro bombarded him with sword blows. Each swing of the sword was like a being with a bat for Maxie. He was gonna have some bruises after this. 

"Time for a change up, Zoro!" With a shout, Maxie threw up his hands just as the swords descended knocking them up. Grabbing Lady Gentle with both hands, he raised it up and brought it down with full power on the swordsman's head. Crossing his swords above his head, it was moments like these where Zoro hated tall opponents, and blocked the blow. Feeling nothing behind it? Zoro quickly looked at Maxie but didn't see him till he looked lower. After releasing the weapon, Maxie disengaged his full body Steel in favor of Steel arm heavy and getting a low stance aimed upwards. 

"Double Steel Gun!" He shouted, unleashing two steel palms into Zoro's chest. The force sent Zoro flying back. But his reflexes made it so he landed on his feet, the air knocked out of his lungs and the pain knocked in. Breathing heavy Zoro gazed at Maxie, no. His new Nakama with a new light. Standing up Zoro looked at Maxie next to the mast and bowed slightly.

"I apologize for my words earlier and my actions so far. You are a warrior and I will treat you as such." Zoro said as he removed his bandana from his arm and Wado from his sheath. Placing the handle in his mouth Zoro prepared his technique.

"Three-sword Style' Zoro started forming an H shape next to his head with his blades. Seeing this Maxie went full Steel heavy off and tightened every muscle he had as he covered up. 'Ogre Cutter!" He finished, seeming to teleport in front of Maxie slamming his blades into him with enough force to send the Metal Man flying to the rails hitting it hard enough to crack the wood. Doubling on his hands and knees Maxie started dry heaving from the blow. This is him injured?! Holy crap! He needed to end this spar soon. Time to gamble. Sorry about this Merry. Brace yourself. He thought rubbing the deck gently as he spread his hands and knees. 

"Heavy on!" Maxie shouted bringing out the full weight of his Steel form. The amount of which caused the Merry to violently tilt to the right sending the Straw Hats almost falling from the suddenness of it. Zoro tried to stabilize himself and in this moment Maxie struck. Turning off the Steel he sprinted towards Zoro and got behind him. Wrapping his arms around the First Mate. And just as the Merry righted itself Maxie went Steel Heavy off. 

"Steel Suplex!" He shouted bending backwards he slammed the swordsman in his head and flipping around pinned his back to the ground. Usopp sensing an opportunity for fun jumped over the banister and landed next to him on his hands and knees.

"1, 2, 3! It's all over!' He shouted, crossing his hands and he pulled me up, after I turned off the Steel. Raising my hand he finished 'I give you Heavyweight Wrestling Champion of the Going Merry, Maxie 'The Little Giant'!"

At first I could only stare wide eyed at the Sniper before starting to laugh. And then I started booming with laughter. I was quickly joined by the rest of the Crew even Zoro gave a smile from where he was lying down.Meanwhile, on the 2nd floor Nami was currently holding an open Transponder Snail and giving a smile.

"You guys don't need to worry about a thing. He is fitting in just fine with these clowns." She said watching her Nakama laugh.

"We thank you and your friends, lass." Broggy said over the Snail, laughing.

"Aye. We may have given him the courage to face the world. But only a journey with friends can help him face his inner fears." Dorry finished laughing as well on call. Listening to the laughter around her Nami smiled as she unconsciously scratched her stomach.

Chapter End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to TheGleeman, author of The Hero that Never Came, for helping with this chapter.


	7. Time for a talk😀

Hello all! This is the author Maximusmax. First of all thank you, everyone, for reading this story.🙇 It has meant the world to me to see so many liking my story. And no I am not dropping this story so don't worry 😀. I am gonna take a 2-week break to write up some more chapters, plan, and do sole research. In the meantime, I would like to ask my readers what has been their favorite part of this story so far. As well as seeing if y'all had any questions which I will answer the best I can. Once again thank you for all the support ❤️


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Bum Road Trip

Or

Oh, John Bummer

"NAMI, FREEZE!" I shout startling the crew. Bounding up the stairs I stop in front of the navigator. And bending over lift her shirt and looked at her stomach. Instantly, her staff was across my head knocking me to the ground.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOIN- ow,” she curled in on herself, hand subconsciously going to the bite on her stomach. As she started to wobble.

“....ah shit,” I muttered, hyper-aware of Sanji’s furious glare and the confused stares of the rest of the crew. “So you did get bitten…”

“Bitten by what, Shitty Ruster?" Sanji said next to Nami. All eyes on me now. I took a deep breath and just focused on Nami as Garm placed himself under my hand.

"Nami are you feeling light-headed? Tired? Vision getting blurry at all?" I asked petting Garm with my free hand trying to keep calm. 

"I mean a little but. It is nothing." She said trying to reassure us.

"Nami Swan you didn't eat a lot of breakfast this morning," Sanji said, worry starting to show on his face. Next thing Luffy was next to her holding his hand up to her forehead before yanking back and shaking it.

"Nami you're burning up!" He shouted, blowing on his hand due to the heat

"What exactly was she bitten by Maxie?" Zoro asked looking up with his face stoic despite the worry his eyes show.

"She was bitten by an insect carrying an old disease. From what I can remember she has about a week before she..dies from fever" I pushed out the word slamming as many doors as I could on my panic. At this everyone started to panic. Thankfully Garn calmed them all down with a quick butt chomp. Before moving his body over to Nami who leaned on him.

"Fevers can kill you?" Luffy asked, tilting his head. 

"Normal people yes Luffy," Usopp said with a sigh as Care hid behind him eyeing Garm. 

"We need to get Nami medical aid. Who here knows medicine?" Vivi asked supporting Nami on her other side. Every member of the crew instantly pointed at Nami even she raised her hand.

“These dolts idea of medical aid is spit and booze.” Nami said with a small smile. “Either way, we don't have time for a detour. Vivi, take a look at this." She takes the newspaper out of her back pocket as Garm held her staff. She handed it to Vivi who opened it, confused. But as she read it, her face became more and more horrified.

"What happened Vivi?" Usopp asked watching her friend's face fall. Suddenly Vivi's eyes shot up and locked with mine.

"Did you know?!" She shouted, Carue freaking out at his charges harsh voice. 

"Did I know what?" I asked, desperately trying to remember why she would be angry. 

"Did you know that 3000 of my father's Royal Guards would join the Rebellion?" She clarified her eyes trembling. 

"I don't remember stuff unless it's related to the crew, the people we're going to fight, or places, both places we're going to visit, and important places that we're not going to visit.' I defended myself trying to keep calm. ' and even then it is all hazy until we get to it or I see the person. And even then it will take time." Vivi seemed to want to shout more before Luffy placed his hand on Vivi's shoulder. 

"Maxie isn't smart enough to keep secrets, Vivi." He said a solemn look on his face. I really wanted to argue this but he wasn't wrong. Just then a breeze blew across the group causing Nami to raise her head and squint. 

'Usopp go and turn the Merry 80 degrees to port. I don't like the wind." Nami said trying to stand up but the conversation seemed to strain and she feels forward to be caught by Garm and Vivi. Usopp moving quickly to follow her orders.

"Nami please you need rest," Vivi pleaded as the navigators face started to get redder. Carrying her carefully, Vivi began taking Nami to her room with Garm close behind them. 

"But we need to get you to Alabasta and the fastest chance to get there is if I navigate." Nami protested weakly as she was placed on her hammock. 

"And as our best chance, you need a doctor. Then we can get to Alabasta in no time at all.” Vivi said with a smile. “Carue and Garm, please watch her for me." Carue snapped a salute while Garm just laid next to the hammock and put his head down. 

Vivi walked back up the stairs back to the main deck where Usopp was currently giving Maxie a crash course in sailing. Just then a massive cyclone appeared on the starboard bow.

Right where the ship was heading if Nami hadn't told Usopp to turn. 

"How ...how did she know?!" Vivi freaked out, doing a double-take. 

Storms in the Grand Line are supposed to be nearly impossible to predict.

"That's because Nami is the world's best navigator," Luffy said from the kitchen. 'Hey, Sanji we are out of food again." Next thing Vivi knew Luffy was getting launched out of the kitchen and onto the main deck. Meanwhile, Sanji was cursing up a storm in the kitchen.

"It's okay Sanji give me a bit. I can catch some food.' I said standing up and heading to the storage where the cres stashed my gear. 'Hey Sanji, can you give me any old tangerine peels or bones." 

"I can but why?" The cook asked peeking out from the kitchen.

"It will help attract small fish, which will attract big fish that will eat the small fish.' I said walking past him. 'It's The Circle of Life." I sang at him as I walked into the storage room. Seeing my gear in the corner I began going through it and a small paper fell out. Curious, I picked it up and read it. 

Dear Maxie

If you're reading this then you have been Shanghaied by Luffy and his friends. We couldn't be happier about this! (I faceplanted at this part) Your strong Maxie. Far more than an average pirate. You didn't let your Devil Fruit powers go to your head and trained every day. We are proud to have had a hand in training you. But it was all you Maxie in the end. The only we can't help is your inner struggle. Even if you can't remember most of it. Whether through your own will or by the means of how you got here there are some things your body refuses to forget. These are the traumas all warriors must overcome. And this crew, their adventures on the seas can help that. If you ever need us we are a Snail Call away. 

From your Nakamas

Broggy and Dorry.

P.S Thank that Princess for writing this for us.

I wiped a tear from my eyes as I folded the letter back up and secured it in the bag. Grabbing my fishing gear and a steel harpoon from the rack on the wall I headed out to catch food for my new crew. "I wonder how those two are doing anyway. I should call them tonight. I thought to myself stepping out onto the deck.

Meanwhile in another part of Paradise...

"Gababababababa is that all you got Dorry I have been ahead for nearly 6 hours now!" Broggy shouted as he swam ahead of Dorry. Who trailed closely behind. Each of them has a large sack on their backs. 

"Just saving my energy for the final sprint shorty! Gegyagyagyagya." Dorry replied his grin matching his friend's. They had been swimming since this morning their duel was over since technically Broggy won. Now they were headed home. 

"By my reckoning, we should be in Elbaf in 6 months. Provided we stop for a rest every 2 days. Of course, I could for 3 days." Dorry said with a laugh.

"Then I could for 4!"

"Did I say 3, I meant 8!"

"The jump is too big, Bastard!"

"Oi, is that a Navy ship?" Broggy said spying something in the distance. Stopping their swimming they both saw a ship. A massive ship.

"A Navy ship fit for a Giant," Dorry said after taking a long look. Turning to his friend they both looked at each other and flashed a massive grin before taking off towards the ship.

On the Navy Warship Justice Giant...

"I love this duty.' A Marine Private said as he his comrades performed their duties on the deck. " Every month once a week we patrol a safe part of Paradise looking for Giants that disappeared a century ago. And meanwhile Vice Admiral just stays in his room." He gave a glance at the massive room next to the mast. As he finished up the mopping he flopped against the railing. 

"Yep, life is good for a Marine on John Giants ship." Just as he said this a massive shadow cast itself over the Private. Curious about the shadow the Private slowly looked up and panic appeared on his face.

"Pardon me, laddie. But did you just day John Giant?" Dorry asked a massive smile on his face. Scared beyond belief the Private could only nod his head.

"Did you hear Broggy?" Dorry shouted as Broggy climbed up the other side. The Marines scrambling to get out of their way as they boarded panicked.

"I sure did! The Gods sure have a sense of humor. Out off all the ships in the world. We stumble upon Ole Johnny ship! Gababababababa!" He laughed standing next to the mast John's room to their right and left respectively.

"VICE ADMIRAL! VICE ADMIRAL GIANTS!" The Marines shouted by the door as they loaded their guns and drew their swords.

"Eh, What's all that noise for?" John shouted from his desk finishing up another all-clear report with HQ.

"Oi! Can John Bummer come out to play?" Broggy shouted readying his shield while Dorry did the same. Their weapon remains were currently in their bags.

"ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN THE WORLD DARE CALL ME THE THAT!' John shouted rushing out of his room sword in hand. Upon seeing the two his anger caused his face to turn bright red. ' You two were supposed to be dead!" 

"Naw just settling a dispute," Dorry said swinging his shoulder to loosen up. 

"I won by the way!" Broggy said with a laugh.

"Anyway!' Dorry shouted changing the subject. 'We are taking your ship Johnny Boy. Sorry."

"As an Agent of Justice, I won't let you, two old criminals, back into the world!" He said raising his sword. 'Load the cannons and fire on these curs!" He ordered his men. They snapped but the Captains of the Giant Warrior Pirates were faster. As though they were reading each other's mind they jumped up and slammed their feet into the ship. It was so strong it sent the normals sized Marines flying into the air and into the ocean. This made John even madder and he tried to rush them.

"Hold up Johnny Boy!" Dorry shouted, his words stopping John in his tracks. He knew what was coming and it just made him madder. Dorry and Broggy turned to each other and raised their right-hand high.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" They shouted in unison both throwing rock.

"Tie, go again!" Nope.

"Tie, go again!" Nope.

"Tie, go again!" Nope.

"Justice Wave Slash!" John shouted, swinging his blade at the duo and unleashing a wave of energy that cut through the mast. They quickly raised their shields to block the slash, the force causing them to be pushed back slightly.

"By your attack, I take it to mean you want to fight both of us at once, aye Johnny Bummer?" Dorry asked with a smile as he drew a dagger from his waist while Broggy grasped the fallen mast and placed it on his shoulder with a matching grin.

"I am no longer a mere captain anymore,” the giant growled. “I am now Vice Admiral John Giant, loyal Marine of Absolute Justice!" And with that he charged at the duo, sword raised high to slash down at Dorry while unleashing a side kick at Broggy. 

As he unleashed both blows they became black with Haki. Dorry raised his shield a parried the blow and yet it still cut into the solid steel while Broggy dropped under the kick and swung the mast towards John. 

Jumping over the blow John prepared a downwards stab at Broggy. Shame he was fighting two people at once. The next thing John saw was an arm swing towards him. He really needed to work on his observation Haki

"Mountain Lariat!" Dorry shouted coating his arm in Haki turning it black. 

John managed to block most of the blow with his sword, but it was still enough to send him flying right into Broggy makeshift club. Thanks to his OH he managed to see the blow and turn around to swing his sword at his face, but the mast was longer and it slammed into his gut long before the wound became dangerous. 

The blow doubled him over as it sent him flying back towards Dorry who quickly caught him in a full nelson!

"Release me your pirate scum! No evil shall stand before these eyes of Justice!" He shouted trying to break free and swinging his sword. But he couldn't get enough force bending the blows and they were only small cuts.

"Wow. Even after a hundred years, you can still ruin a great fight, eh Bummer?' Dorry said with a shake of his dead. “Oi. Broggy time to finish this I feel." Broggy gave a nod and place the mast on the deck got into a running stance. While Dorry began to spin around still holding John tight. Faster and faster until John finally released his sword sending flying into the door to John's room. And with a monstrous feat of strength, Dorry tossed the Giant Vice Admiral high into the air and taking a few steps back to mimic Broggy stance. And just as John, falling headfirst and dizzy beyond belief, they leaped at him both coating their right arms in Haki.

"Double Mountain Sandwiches Lariat!" They shouted slamming their arm into both sides of Johns's head with enough force to send him flying out to sea. 

"VICE ADMIRAL!" His crew shouted swimming as fast as they could after their leader. Ripping large wooden planks out of the deck Broggy and Dorry began to paddle away laughing all the while.

"Thanks for the ship, Johnny!" Broggy laughed.

"And the sword!" Dorry added, laughing just as loud as his friend.

"And thanks for the Haki refresher course!" they chorused, their laughs becoming even louder as they left the panicking Marines. The last John heard as he passed out was.

"We really got to thank Maxie for giving us reason to end our duel."

Two days later back on the Merry...

I was able to get into a routine aboard my new with the Straw Hats. In the morning I would check my fishnets and bird traps (the News Coo got caught in it the first day, charged us double, and now I have a partially shaved head on the side, Zoro makes a surprisingly good barber). After that, giving what I caught to Sanji and then I spar with Zoro. 

Luffy joined them too, He was excited when I tanked his Pistol and Rifle. Well, I was still standing after Pistol and Rifle hurt like Zoro Ogre Cutter.

...then he unleashed the Bazooka and the next 15 minutes were spent fishing me out of the sea.

I had the idea of having my lower body in Lead Heavy most of the time. I can't exactly run on a small ship like the Merry. Whenever I had a spare minute I was checking on Nami who just kept getting worse and worse. Vivi was doing her best but we needed a doctor. I was down in Nami room giving Vivi a break when I heard Zoro.

"Hey, Maxie? Remember when you said to report anything?" He said through the relay pipes in the wall.

"Yeah. Why what's up?" I asked replacing the cold rag on Nami's head with a new one.

"Does a guy standing on the ocean count?" He voices seriously. At the question, an image of a bike rose in my mind.

"Zoro this may be the most important question I will ever ask.” I say, my voice as steady and even as I could make it while I hid my terror. “Is there a bike next to him?"

Chapter end


	9. Chapter8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early chapter because tomorrow i am gonna be busy with family. As always thanks to my Editor Caffeinated Dragon!😀😀😀

Chapter 8

Frozen Water sucks!

Or

Off to the Witch Doctor

The heck is wrong with his lips? I think to myself as I watch the strange man standing on the water. Thank God it is not Bokji. Tokaji? Jiji? The OP Admiral guy who freezes oceans.

Y'all know who I mean, moving on! 

He looked like a tent fused with Christmas fused with a man. Oh God, Oda draws some weird people. 

I looked at Usopp for a second. More specifically his nose. This just caused him to look back at me. 

"What?" He asked, head tilting.

"Nose wins over lips," I said while next to me Luffy just nodded.

"Is now really the time for this?" He deadpanned.

"Gonna be cold today huh?" The Christmas dude asked, seemingly unconcerned about the fact he was standing on water. Of course, it’s cold. There's snow. I thought to myself, wrapping my fur jacket with the Giant Warrior Jolly Roger stitched on the back tightly around myself. Meanwhile, Usopp and Luffy agreed with him. Wait a minute… standing on water, Christmas tent man, snow...

"Oh, it's a trap," I said hitting my open palm with a first. The second I said that a massive sphere surfaced with Tess -reasonably sure that's his name- standing on it. Just then the sides came down to reveal a massive ship.

"Are you surprised this magnificent Warship of King Wapol! Board them, men! For the glory of Wapol!" A man of culture shouted, his afro glorious in the light. God, I wish I could rock an afro I thought to myself as soldiers surrounded us rifles aimed at our heads. I think it says something about how much scary stuff that has happened so far where this didn't scare me. Also, the fact that I doubt their bullets can hurt me in my metal forms helped a lot. Meanwhile, Usopp had his hands on the air and Zoro was leaning against the wall railing.

"What the hell is going on?" Sanji shouted, leaving the lounge. Just as a soldier aimed a gun at his head. 

"We were boarded. I blame Maxie." Luffy said.

"Yep." Usopp agreed, his hands still high up.

"Same," Zoro said yawning into his hand uncaring about the guns pointed at him.

"That's fair.' I said hanging my head with a sigh. “I really need to fix my memory problem." 

"Only 5 people? How can there only be 5 people onboard? Whatever. Hand over all your treasure." Wapol said stepping on the Merry as he ate a knife? 

"Did that guy just eat a knife?! How is that even possible?" Usopp shouted freaking out a little.

"Maxie, can you eat knives?" Luffy said eyes bugging out. Completely ignoring Wapol.

"I..have never tried honestly," I replied rubbing my chin. 

"Don't move!" The soldier next to me shouted and pulled the trigger. The second I saw his finger I move I went full Iron weight off just as the bullet hit my cheek and ricocheted into the soldier's shoulder with a cry. 

"OH! A user of the Metal-Metal fruit. I have always wanted to try that! Your body must be heavily saturated by metals." Wapol said as he jumped at my mouth impossibly wide. Oh crap! Quickly jumping over the rails I dodged Wapol and landed next in the mast. Already been eaten once in my life don't want to do it again. Wapol's bite took out a large part of the deck. Raising himself he proceeds to chew and swallow the wood. 

"Don't eat my crew fatty!" Luffy shouted sending a punch flying at Wapol while the rest of the crew went into action. Turning to the soldiers next to the railing I tensed my leg and kicked at them half power.

"Iron Storm!" I shouted sending out an airwaves knocking the trio of soldier over into the sea. Zoro was knocking down soldiers on the top deck, while Usopp crouched and sniped the soldiers on the enemy ship. Meanwhile, Sanji was guarding the lounge entrance sending soldier crashing to the deck with vicious kicks. One soldier managed to get past him only to be followed by the sound of growling and cries of pain as he ran right back out half his clothes were gone. 

"This is awfully chewy," Wapol said as he tried to eat Luffy?! What the hell? Apparently, Vivi had the same thought as she came out on the deck face horrified. Luffy had both his arms stretching far behind him 

"Gum Gum Bazooka!" Luffy shouted both hands rushing forward slamming into Wapol sending him flying over the railing and far out into the sea. Seeing this the soldiers began to panic as they rushed back to the ship.

"Lord Wapol!" They shouted as the last one got off the Merry, their ship speeding away.

"Did he say Wapol?!" Vivi shouted panicking. She sure panics a lot huh? Wait to hold on. Wapol. Lord. Kingdom. Cotton candy. 

Jumping to the top deck I looked far in front of us.

"Usopp come here!" I shouted behind me. Hearing the urgency in my voice he rushed to the railing. 

"What's up?" He asked standing next to me.

"Look for a snow-covered island! That's Drum Kingdom's where we find our doctor. And that the king of the said kingdom’s abandoned it!”

….

“We made it!” Luffy cheered. “Finally!”

“The townspeople don’t look too happy to see us,” Usopp muttered nervously.

When the Merry got into the port, one of the villagers shouted. “Stay away, pirates!”

“We aren’t going to hurt you, we just want to find a doctor! We promise!” Vivi yelled back.

“And how do we know you won’t go back on your word and pillage the place while killing people, huh?” A teen wearing a heavy blue jacket and a red scarf scoffed, the rest of the crowd falling silent. “We can’t trust pirates, ‘specially when it comes down to healing. I bet you’ll go back on that little promise of yours as soon as the girl is healed.”

“We won’t!” Luffy insisted.

“Really?” the teen raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “That is the exact same thing the pirate before you said, right before going on a rampage that killed over 50 people and caused that fuckwad of a king to leave,” he growled, hand reaching to a sheath on his hip.

Zoro raised an eyebrow. “What, you want to fight?” He slid a few inches of Wado out of its sheath. “If it’s a fight you want then it’s a fight you’ll get-”

A hand grabbed his arm, halting the blade’s exit. “Stop it!” Vivi yelled, face a mask of rage as she tried to calm down everyone. 

Just then a shot rang out. Moving quickly Maxie moved his hand in front of Vivi, his arm tuning iron as he did, blocking the bullets. 

"You bastards!" Luffy shouted ready to jump the panning villagers. Vivi moved quickly and jumped on Luffy slamming him into the deck.

"LUFFY, STOP! I know you're angry right now, but you need to think about what's best for Nami," She shouted from on top of him before moving to the deck and bowing to villagers. “Please, let us dock here! Our friend is severely sick, if she doesn't get the treatment she’ll die!”

The villagers looked to the boy in the blue jacket, seemingly for advice. He was silent for a few moments and was about to answer when Luffy grit his teeth and followed suit.

“Luffy! What are you doing?!” 

“Please... help her! We need a doctor” 

"Of course we will!" A new voice shouted as a large man carrying a massive shovel on his back appeared, walking forward as the crowd parted for him. Stepping forward, he clapped the boy in the jacket on the shoulder and nodded at him.

"Mr. Dalton?" The boy looked back, confused at first before looking back at the ground, apparently having gotten an unspoken message in the man’s eyes.

"Come on up. Someone fetch a plank and help them up!" Dalton shouted the villagers moving to do what he asked.

"All right. Zoro you, Garm, and Carue stay here and watch the ship." Vivi said rolling at the three. Garm just yawned at her before falling asleep next to the mast. This made her slightly miffed, but Maxie just smiled slightly at his little buddy. Before moving to help ready Nami for the walk.

….

"This country doesn't have a name.” Dalton said as we walked towards his village. '

"What do you mean by that?" Vivi asked as we walked towards the village. 

"Giant bear attack!" Usopp shouted as a large bear walked by with a walking stick. Huh. Not the weirdest thing I have seen since I got here. 

...Oh God, I'm embodying One Piece, aren't I?

“That’s one of the sentient bears. Just bow politely and he won't bother us." Dalton informed us as he bowed at the bear still walking. The rest of us followed suit and the bear replied in kind. I took my hand off of the harpoon on my back next to my club and kept walking.

"You don't have an army?" Vivi asked as we walked into the village, the boy following behind with an odd blue spear gripped tight in his hands.

"We don't need any army, we can protect ourselves." he growled, glaring us the whole time. I really wanted to just boop his nose and see his reaction. 

....I may be a weirdo. 

"Luffy! Another bear!" Usopp shouted as a large man walked towards us.

"Oh, Dalton is everything all right?' The man said walking up to Dalton. “I hope my son didn't cause too much of a mess." He said smiling as he rubbed the boy's head. He just scowled and knocked his father’s hand off.

...how dare he reject the head pats.

"Young Joseph was no problem at all, sir. Sorry to cut this short, but I should get our guests inside to warm up." He said giving a slight now to the mayor. He turned and walked to a nearby house.

"Oh, Dalton one more thing. I hope you will place your name for the mayoral elections next week. We would all love to have you as ours." He said with a smile as he walks away, his son flashing us the "I am watching you" gesture. Dalton paused in front of the door and lowered his head.

"I have committed too many sins to be a leader." He whispered softly before going inside.

….

"As I said before there are no doctors on this island," Dalton said standing by the window. Hearing him I started to have a mini panic attack as I stood by Nami's bed. Just then a sweaty hand enters my hand holding it gently. Looking down at the bed i saw Nami looking up at me a tired smile on her sweaty and red face. Holding her hand, I took a deep breath and faced Dalton.

"You said there was a witch though," I said gently wiping the sweat from Nami's face 

"Yeah. She lives on that large mountain out there." He pointed out of the window. Sanji went to go look, but the view was blocked by a pair of massive snowmen built by Usopp and Luffy.

"Oi! You bastards, stop messing around and get in here!" He shouted through the window. 

Usopp and Luffy quickly rushed inside to avoid Sanji’s wrath. Dalton just stared at us a moment before continuing. 

"As I was saying the witch lives up on that mountain with a monster reindeer. We have no way of calling her. When she does appear she heals the patients and then takes whatever she wants to pay the bill." He said with a small grimace.

"Hey, Nami? We are gonna go get you some help up at a mountain. Just hold on a bit and you'll be better soon." Luffy said leaning over Nami and smiling wide.

"Luffy are you insane?! She has an outrageously high fever!" Vivi shouted at him.

"Your friend is in an unstable condition. I am not sure you should move her." Dalton said checking the weather outside the window.

"But we have no idea when she’s gonna show up, so taking Nami is there is the best and fastest option," Sanji lit his cigarette.

"But-!" Vivi tried to argue but stopped when she saw Nami raise her hand to grasp Luffy's.

“I will be in your care then." She smiled tiredly.

"Guess that settles it then. Mr. Dalton, I am gonna some rope, climbing axes, and thick winter coats for the trip." I tell Dalton who rush to fill it out.

…

"Okay. Luffy your in the middle carrying Nami I will be in the front in Heavy Lead mode to clear the snow path make it easier for you. Sanji you bring up the rear." I tell them placing my Giant Pirate coat over Nami for good luck.

"Right. All right Luffy, listen close. No matter what happens out there you are not allowed to fight. One wrong move and Nami suffers for it got it." Sanji said buttoning up his coat.

"Not even once? All right. Let's go!!' He shouted, taking off from the mountain.

"Damnit Luffy! I am in front!" I shouted, taking off after him Sanji right behind me. 

"All right… I guess we should head inside then." Dalton said heading towards the house.

"Actually, I’m just gonna wait out here." Vivi said rubbing her arms from the cold.

"This cold is nothing for the dreaded Captain Usopp." Usopp said his nose running.

Meanwhile, a few days ride from Drum Kingdom...

"Puru puru puru" A snail chimed from a man's coat pocket. Giving a hum of interest the man time out the snail and answered.

"New snail, who dis?" He deadpanned.

"You know exactly who this is. I need you to a thorough search of the area around the Drum Kingdom. We have reports of the Giant Warrior Pirates having reappeared and we need you to check it out." The imposing voice said over the snail.

"I was hoping to take a three-day nap, though." The man sighed.

"WHO TAKES A THREE-DAY NAP?!” The voice shouted, causing the man to wince from the volume. "GET IT DONE, AOKIJI!" And with that, the voice hung up.

"Aye aye, Fleet Admiral Sengoku sir." Aokiji sighed again as he cycled away on a frozen sea, a fleet of frozen pirate ships left in his wake.

Chapter end


	10. Omakes and Fanart 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I am showcasing some fanart made by fan and friend Testimo. And a couple of makes written by and my editor. Please enjoy.

[](https://imgur.com/gallery/cUWpBvo)https://imgur.com/gallery/cUWpBvo

Why you never mess with Aokiji’s coffee

“Yo, Coby,” Helmeppo whispered to his friend, causing him to stir sleepily.

“What?”

“Apparently some guy decided to switch out Admiral Aokiji’s coffee for Admiral Kizaru’s to see what would happen.”

“That’s nice- what?!” Coby hissed, jolting to full awareness. “Is he insane?!”

“He said ‘for science’ before Shaving away.”

“When was this?”

“A few minutes ago? Admiral Aokiji’s usually seen with coffee around this time, so…”

“...I’m too tired to deal with this right now,” The pinkette groaned, flopping back under his sheets. 

“Yeah. What’s the worst that could happen?” His friend did the same, both of them blissfully unaware of what was going to happen.

...

“I wonder why no one’s moving?” Kizaru questioned, walking around the frozen figures of his fellow Marines. “Meh, could be that I’m just going too fast. How troublesome.”

An idea made its way into his mind, and he smiled a wide unhinged grin not unlike that of a certain blonde pirate in a different world that was making the world a little bit more mad everyday, not that the Admiral knew that. “I guess I can mess with people instead.”

He continued on in his usual slow pace, fully aware of the fact that all the others saw was a flash of yellow.

Oh, he hasn’t had the opportunity to do something like this in ages.

…

Aokiji stared at his empty coffee cup, hyper aware of the absence of the energy that usually coursed through him from drinking his special coffee.

He’d asked the chefs to make him the strongest coffee they could, and they didn’t disappoint. Every day, he’d find a steaming mug of coffee waiting for him by the time that the previous one’s caffeine had worn off. They’d gotten a large raise because of that.

This wasn’t that coffee, or the usual mug. Someone had switched his with Borsalino’s.

And Borsalino only ever drank decaf.

After debating for a few seconds on whether to ask the chefs to make another one (he knew that it took a while to make even a single cup) he decided to go on, walking through the streets of a early-morning Marineford.

Not a wise choice, because he could feel his body starting to shut down from caffeine withdrawal. Oh well, at least he’ll get some sleep out of this.

…

Marineford was in chaos, Transponder Snails ringing at a constant pace and paperwork flying everywhere as everyone woke up to realize that things had been messed with.

For one, everything had been moved 5 inches to the right, confusing everyone including the Fleet Admiral on the exact location of things.

Second, Aokiji was passed out on the ground, and nothing could wake him up.

Kizaru was nowhere to be seen.

Oh, and someone had plastered gigantic, unflattering images of Akainu onto the walls of Marineford.

Said Admiral had to be restrained by Sengoku to prevent him from destroying the walls and causing a lot of property damage.

“...you were saying?” Coby deadpanned, staring at the chaos next to his friend and watching Garp get chased around by the Fleet Admiral.

“I was wrong, ok?” Helmeppo sighed, facepalming.

They went to the kitchen to get some tea, and instead of the relative order they were expecting they were greeted with panicking chefs.

“What happened to the special coffee?!”

“We gave it to Admiral Aokiji, why is he asleep?!”

“Did someone switch his coffee with decaf?!”

“Do we even have decaf?!”

They watched the chaos for a few seconds before Shaving to the training grounds and drowning everything out with mindless sparring.

Garp would be proud.

…

Aokiji slept for a week before waking back up, and everyone agreed that he needed a proper sleep schedule instead of relying on caffeine to stay awake. Even Akainu.

No one ever did figure out that an ensign was the one that pulled the coffee switch.

Or why Kizaru was found passed out on Marineford’s roof a day afterwards

Why spicy food is banned in Marineford

“So, what’s on the menu today folks?” One of the newer chefs asked, prepping his knives. “We did calamari yesterday for the higher-ups, so maybe some spicy curry today-?”

“NO!” The entire kitchen roared at the poor soul.

“No more spicy food for the higher ups, not after the first and last time,” A veteran sous chef shuddered with fear, using more force than necessary on a cabbage and accidentally slicing through the cutting board.

“Wha- I don’t,” The chef spluttered, confused by the reaction to his suggestion.

“How long have you been here?” The head chef suddenly spoke up.

“Maybe 3 weeks?”

“That explains it, no one’s told you what happened with Admiral Akainu a year ago,” The head chef sighed. “Anyone gonna explain it to the lucky sod that didn’t experience it?”

There was silence for a few seconds before someone by the fridge sighed. “You don’t know me, but my name’s Dominique,” He closed the freezer door and walked over to a workstation next to the newbie, seeing as everyone else had gone back to work in an attempt to forget The Incident. “I’m one of the dessert chefs, and I had the undesirable task of trying to cool the Admiral down when he ate that,” he shuddered “thing whos kind is now banned from being made in the kitchen.” He unwrapped the chocolate in his hands and started cutting it into chunks.

“We decided to serve this curry that was nicknamed the ‘Magmaloo’ that day, because Vice Admiral Garp had requested something spicy. We’ll get to the name later.” He finished chopping the chocolate and slid the chunks into a waiting metal bowl.

“...ok?”

“So you know how we cater to the higher ups, right?”

“Yeah, the Commanders and higher, right?” The new guy chopped up some scallions and passed them to a nearby chef, who nodded thanks.

“Yeah. Turns out, they have their own separate cafeteria so that they don’t scare the lower ranks. We make the food for that cafeteria. And guess what, everyone eats the food there even if they don’t want to, including the Admirals. We have total control over what they eat on the days set aside, which is Wednesday and Fridays.”

“So Vice Admiral Garp put in the request on one of those days?”

“Yeah, a Wednesday.” Dominique mixed in some hot cream, stirring with a whisk as the new guy Wolfgang sliced some fish. “So it just so happens that a shipment of these really spicy peppers just came in, so we thought ‘Hey! There’s enough peppers for everyone in Marineford to get curry, so might as well follow up with Garp’s suggestion and let the other cooks catch a break!’”

“I’m guessing it didn’t go so well?” Wolfgang winced, chopping a fish into thirds and moving on to a different one.

“That’s an understatement.”

“Well, what happened?”

“Something that makes us very aware of the fact that one does not feed Admiral Akainu spicy food.”

“Okay, but why?”

“There are some things you never unfeel,” Dominique winced, dipping some fruit into the melted chocolate.

“You mean unsmell?” Wolfgang slid the fish chunks into an awaiting broth.

“....no.”

~o~

“AAAAARGH!” An enraged roar echoed through Marineford, making everyone wince with fear at the reminder of what the Admiral was going through.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Garp, on the other hand, was laughing his lungs out, his bowl of curry lying clean on the hardwood table. “Little brat couldn’t even handle a little spice?”

“WITH ALL DUE RESPECT VICE ADMIRAL, THAT WAS NOT ‘A LITTLE SPICE’!” Coby roared angrily at his superior, in too much pain to care about the repercussions that were sure to come in the form of training, his own bowl only having a small spoonful taken out of it. Helmeppo was nowhere to be seen, a shape his size taken out of the wooden wall in an effort to get to the bathrooms quicker.

“GAAAAAARP!” The entirety of Marineford heard the angry roar from the kitchens. “YOU TOLD US TO MAKE HIS EXTRA SPICY ON PURPOSE, DIDN’T YOU?!”

The Vice Admiral froze as he could feel the glare coming from the Red Dog, his ire redirected from the chefs that made the curry to the one that called for it to be made in the first place. “Gotta blast!” He smashed a hole into the wall, ignoring Sengoku’s roars to face the consequences of his actions like a man.

~o~

“I was running around Marineford with ice cream for days afterwards,” Dominique shuddered.

“So the reason why that particular curry was made was because Garp wanted to see how Akainu would react?” Wolfgang gaped.

“That, and his reaction to the name of it. The entire kitchen had to be rebuilt from scratch.”

“How the hell does it already look like it was built ages ago?” He checked the stew, then turned off the heat and added some scallions.

“One thing: bubble tea.”

Wolfgang flinched. “God no, I thought that craze was restricted to the Blues!”

“Well, Garp’s from the East Blue and decided he wanted to taste some things from home and told the head chef that he wanted fresh boba tea every week. All those stains?” Dominique waved at the numerous marks “are from us trying to learn how to make it from scratch.”

“Jesus Christ…”

“Hey, be glad you’re not a dessert chef that has to learn how.”

“What happened to the plumbers?”

“There’s a reason why they get paid at the same rate we do, bud. It’s a deadly job when someone like Akainu has bowel problems. On top of that, Garp forgot about the bubble tea, and then demanded we give him regular tea instead. All that work for nothing.”

Hoped y'all enjoyed.


	11. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to Caffeinated Dragon for editing.

Chapter 9

Raving Rabbits

Or

She was where?!

"Oh no. The witch can't be on a tropical island or just have an office in the village. She has to live on top of a mountain." I grumbled as I clear a path through the snow with my Heavy Lead Full Body, or as Luffy is calling it, snowplow mode.

'How do you even know what a snowplow is?" I asked Luffy, who was behind me. My coat was long enough that it covered him and Nami. 

God, that makes me feel kinda fat. 

"I read it in a book," Luffy answered with a shrug Sanji on his heels.

"You read books?" I asked stupefied.

"You know what books are?" Sanji asked his eyebrow raised high.

"Yeah? Makino taught me all my letters and numbers. Just too many and they hurt my brain." He said with a grimace the snow crunching under our feet as the sun started to set.

"To be fair numbers that get too long give me a headache too," I told Luffy, grabbing a torch out of the pack and lighting it with a quick snap of metal fingers. I wrapped my coat closer around me and I held the torch up.

"I never had many problems with numbers personally. One wrong tablespoon and rabbit stew get ruined." Sanji said checking on Nami. 

Rabbit stew, huh ...Oh crap.

I facepalmed, causing a thud to echo slightly.

"Soooooo, I just remembered something," I chucked to the others nervously.

"A good or bad something?" Sanji asked, visible eye narrowing as he looked around at the woods.

"Maxie! NO spoilers, just vague warnings, please." Luffy clarified. 

"Okay, it isn't Luffy's Gramps level bad. But I would say it is a bit worse than dinosaur bad." I said quickly turning my head as snow fell from a nearby branch.

"WAIT, THINGS GET THAT BAD?!" Luffy shouted his voice echoing.

"LUFFY DON'T SHOUT WHEN WERE POSSIBLY SURROUNDED BY GIANT MEAT EATING RABBITS!" I shouted back. 

"WE MAY BE SURROUNDED BY WHAT?!" Sanji shouted back eye going wide. Then they both paused, and looked behind me.

Well, more specifically behind and above me. 

...I hate this trope. 

Turning around, the torch illuminated a large white furry boulder. Looking up, I saw a large rabbit face with sharp teeth and a scar smiling down at me while the adorable baby on its shoulder did the same. 

Why, oh why does Oda make things so cute and yet so lethal?

"Hope the others are having a better time..." I groaned, drawing Lady Gentle from my back.

Meanwhile back on the Merry...

"Perfectly healed! Don't you think?' Zoro asked Carue and Garm, kicking his feet together with stitches just above his ankles. 'Well, time for some training. Swimming in a winter lake will sharpen my mind and body." He said bringing his hands together as he leaped off the Merry. Garm tried to stop him but only managed to rip off his pants. They watched Zoro resurface.

"Don't worry, I am just gonna swim for a bit. Be right back." He told the duo swimming away. Carue and Garm just watched for a bit before Garm turned to the duck.

"(Go after him.)" Garm said in a grow tossing the pants on Carue's back.

"(What why me?!)" Carue asked turning to Garm.

"(2 reasons. 1, your a duck and you're the better swimmer.)" He said.

"(That's fowl!)" Carue shouted back, feathers ruffled in anger.

"(And 2 you're starting to look delicious.)" Garm finished licking his lips. 

The next second, Carue was over the rails and swimming after Zoro.

"(ZORO SAVE ME!!)" He quacked, swimming for all he was worth. Giving a huff of satisfaction, Garm moved back to his post and flopped into his stomach. 

To anyone else, it would look like he was asleep. But his senses were so finely tuned that the second anyone came close to the ship, he would know. 

For this ship was the home of his friends and brother, and no one would harm it while he was here.

"(Don't worry, Merry. I will protect you.)" Garm growled under his breath. He felt a small warm hand stroking his head, making his sigh in happiness.

Back at Daltons Village...

"I hope the others get back soon. I still gotta fix up the Merry from when that damn Wapol tore a chunk out of her." Usopp said his hands cupped around the hot cocoa Dalton brought him as he shivered.

"Did you just say Wapol?!" Dalton sat up, eyes wide.

"Yeah. He and his goons attacked us.” Vivi answered right before realization hit her. “Wait a minute now I remember, Wapol is king of this island, isn't he? I met him at a Reverie years ago." 

"Wow, Vivi. Your memory is as bad as Maxie's. He did say something about the Drum Kingdom, come to think of it." Usopp commented rubbing his nose. Dalton just sighed and looked down for a minute.

"Reverie. Who exactly are you miss? He and his army have been gone for a while now. This country doesn't belong to him anymore. This is a new country for the people still here." Dalton said gripping his hands tightly. Vivi just looked confused for a moment.

"Isn't it a bit much just because he lost a fight?" Vivi asked, confused.

"That asshole and those cowards of his he calls an army didn't even fight!" Joseph growled as he rounded the corner, his dad right behind. “They fucked off before the battle even started." 

The mayor placed on a large hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him.

"Language, young man. But it is the truth, miss. 'King',” Joseph’s father air-quoted “Wapol fled the second their pirate flag was spotted. His army ran with him and he took every doctor we had." He said one hand on his son's shoulder, the other gripped tightly in a fist.

"NO TRUE KING WOULD JUST ABANDON HIS PEOPLE!!!" Vivi shouted, her face full of rage and clearly startling the others.

"Vivi," Usopp gaped, surprised at her sudden outburst. Dalton just started at Vivi for a minute eye narrowed.

Joseph muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “You’ve clearly never met him” underneath his breath.

"Miss I know you from somewhere." He said scratching his chin. "But now this is no longer Wapol's country. Now it is the country of those who stayed behind and rebuilt. A country made in the hope of tomorrow. And he will never take that away.' He said with a grasp of his fist 'I will redeem myself. And honor that man who tried to cure this country."

"Oh, Dalton that reminds me. I heard you were looking for Dr. Kureha, right? Well, luckily enough she is over at the next town right now." The mayor smiled. 

The trio just looked at him for a minute, then stared at the Mountain.

"WHAT?!”

...

"Lord Wapol! I have spotted it for sure!" Chess shouted down from the crow's nest and pointing ahead of them.

"That ship with the metal man on it? I must admit his scent has me captivated." Wapol said wiping a massive amount of drool from his mouth as he munched on a canon.

"No, Sire. It is our home, Drum Island!" Chess shouted with a smile. Wapol down below had a massive grin as he laughed.

"Mahahaha, at last home! My subjects must have missed me terribly!' He said with a loud voice. “Full speed ahead to my kingdom!" 

In Coco Wild Village...

Inside the local restaurant, a young boy was crying loudly. It was so loud that even the people outside could hear. His father was desperate and worried. His child had been crying for two days about a pain in his arm. He tried everything to help him but nothing worked.

"Please, Tamal, please stop crying. Tell me what's wrong?!' He shouted desperate to help his son. 'I don't know how to help you if you don't stop crying!" Just then the restaurant door was kicked open and a stylish older woman walked in a large blue-nosed reindeer walking in behind her.

"It's the witch!" 

"Hides your wallets!"

"Hides your toes!"

"I know what your all thinking!' Kureha shouted to the restaurant. 'How does she stay so young and sexy looking?" She finished with a pose causing half the restaurant to fall out of their seats. The others tried to claw their eyes out. 

"It is the saddest thing in the world when a child cries and their parents can't do anything to help them. Isn't it, Chopper?" Kureha said with a grin. The father getting upset looked at Kureha.

"And you can?!" He shouted eyes enraged. In response, Kureha grabbed the child and tossed him on the table, and yet the table didn't make a sound when he landed on it. Belaying the gentleness in the movement.

"Of course I can, I’m a doctor." She told him and went back to examining the child. A few minutes of examining later she injected something into his leg. And the crying stopped as the boy got a smile on his sleepy face. Nodding with a satisfied smile Kureha turned to the owner. 

"All right then, time for the bill!' She cackled maniacally rubbing her hands. 'We will take as much food as we can carry, all your booze, I am loving some of the furniture. Oh, and 50% of all your money." She finished taking a swig from a flask taken from inside her jacket.

"50% of all his money?"

"That’s highway robbery!"

"You witch, how could you?!"

The restaurant patrons shouted at Kureha as Chopper stood by her glaring at them. Just then a small hand grasped her jacket sleeve and pulled down. Looking down Kureha saw young Tama look up at her with a tired smile.

"Thank you so much, pretty doctor. I feel better already." He said as he fell asleep. Kureha's smile got a lot softer as he wiped his forehead free of sweat. 

"Isn't that nice. Oi, Pops! Make it 49% and have loaded on my sleigh by the time I finish this flask. Not that I need it, but I’m gonna take a long beauty rest at my castle!" She cackled, walking out of the restaurant with her laughter echoing across the town.

Back with dinner- I mean the Straw Hats...

"Keep running, Luffy," I yell at my captain as I send a rabbit flying with one swing of my club just as another one landed on my back, biting at my head with it's teeth scraping against my lead skin.

Oh god, its breath is rancid!

"Poitrine Shoot!" Sanji shouted sending a kick into the giant rabbit's chest causing it to fly away. Nodding my thanks I saw one of the rabbits jump at Luffy up ahead. 

"Sanji, shoot me!" I turned off the lead and jumped on his outstretched leg. Rearing back, he kicked my soles with everything he had and I kicked off the same time.

"Tir defer!” He shouted, and before I knew it I was right next to the beast. Turning my right arm into Heavy Iron, I struck.

"French Iron Lariat!" I shouted my arm slamming into the beast, sending it into a different Rapan as I landed next to Luffy.

Not wasting any time because we didn’t have time to waste, we began to run Sanji close behind us, those Rapans with behind us.

"...Hey, I just remembered, those things are called Rapans," I told my friends with a smile as we fled for our lives.

"I am so glad I know the name of the things trying to eat us!" Sanji shouted as he dodged one of the Rapan’s lunges.

"I am too. Thank you, Maxie." Luffy said with a smile.

"Thank you, Luffy. Happy to help." I say with a small laugh, turning around and sending a Metal Storm right at the feet of the Rapans. 

I was getting stronger but I was still only able to use 3 a day and that was my second one today. Ignoring the throbbing of my leg, I moved to the front of the group and went Heavy Lead to help clear the snow for them.

"...do idiots have a natural defense against sarcasm or something?" Sanji deadpanned. We were getting closer to the mountain;the trees were becoming more and more spread out, and cliffs popped up now and there. 

...And the Rapans were still close on our heels. Then something suddenly slammed into the mountainside, causing the snow to tremble.

"What was that?" Luffy shouted as we tried to stay upright against all the rumbling and shaking.

Down at the docks...

"Sire! The welcome home cannon has been fired!" A soldier said as he saluted Wapol.

"Excellent. Traditions are important after all, Mehahaha! And now my subjects should be here at any moment!" Wapol laughed maniacally astride his snow hippo.

"Lord Wapol! Those pirate's ship is over there!" A soldier shouted from his side pointing behind some hills. 

"Those damn pests are on my island!? Anyone on board?" He asked.

"We sent some soldiers on board, but the next we knew they were being thrown overboard screaming about a hellhound,” He reported, eyeing the ship fearfully. 

"Hellhound?” Wapol asked curiously. Just then a bullet flew right next to his head casting him to fall to the ground.”'What the hell was that?! Who dares shoot at my royal self?!" He shouted as Kuramarimo and Chess helped him up. 

Looking up, he saw a group of armed villagers standing in front of them, Joseph at the head with a spear in hand.

"You're not welcome here, King Lard! This is a free country now!" He shouted pointing his spear at Wapol and his men.

Hearing this, Wapol's face filled with rage.

"What are you idiots waiting for?! Seize them!" Wapol shouted, and the group began to clash.

Back with Luffy and the others...

"Who the hell fires a cannon at a mountain?!" I shouted as we raced down the mountain with an avalanche chasing us, the Rapan running alongside us. 

Fear of death makes strange friends.

"What do we do?!" Luffy shouted as he held on to Nami for dear life. Seeing a large cliff overhang I had an idea. A very stupid idea, but it juuust might work.

Grabbing Luffy and Sanji I hauled them both under the cliff and pushed them as far against the wall. Throwing my coat over them so I was left with only my animal hide tunic, I slammed my fingers deep into the cliffside on both sides and slammed my feet as far into the ground as possible, and closed my eyes to concentrate.

"ALLOY MODE: LEAD AND STEEL!” I roared, ignoring the pain and massive weight on my body from using two metals at once and oh god that hurts a lot. “PROTECT NAMI!!" I shouted at the duo just before the avalanche hit us.

Chapter End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna take a week break recharge and prep for Christmas. Thank you for reading.


	12. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you CaffinatedDragon for all they does editing and being my soundboard. This wouldn't be possible without them.

Everything happens for a reason  
Or  
I think I broke my butt

A little bit before the avalanche…

"Hurry Mr. Dalton, we have to get to Cocoa village quickly!” Vivi said as she and Usopp rode with Dalton. 'We have to get to Dr. Kureha and send her home as soon as possible!" She finished as she wrapped her cost tightly around herself, the cold winds hitting her fast in the sleigh. The sky darkening overhead as a storm came down from the mountains. 

"I am truly sorry for this. I never expected her to come down 2 days in a row." Dalton apologized as he urged the elk onward.

"We don't blame you Mr. Dalton, but if we don't get Kureha heading home soon Luffy and the others are going to be in deep trouble."Usopp's said from the back seat. Nodding quietly, Dalton urged the elk on faster. Before long they were in Cocoa village. Dalton brought the sleigh to a stop in front of the local restaurant.

"Oh, Dalton. Good evening. What brings you here today?" Tama's father asked, walking out of the building and throwing some garbage into the bin. 

"Evening, Jamal. Sorry, we are in a bit of a hurry here. Where is Dr. Kureha?" Dalton said hoping down from the sleigh Vivi and Usopp right behind him. 

"The wit- I mean the doctor left here with her supplies about 20 mins ago. I believe she said something about heading home for a nap or something." Jamal said with a scratch of his chin as he thought hard. A nearby villager spoke up from a porch nearby.

"I thought she said she was going to Gyasta first?" They asked from the porch, taking a swig of their drink.

"Gyasta?" Usopp asked unfamiliar with the name.

"It is a small town known for its skating, maybe she stopped off there for a bit of leisure before heading home," Dalton answered turning to the duo.

"Then we need to get to Gyasta and make sure," Vivi said Usopp nodding alongside her. 

"Gyasta isn't too far away, we can be there in about.." Dalton started to speak. But, just then a cannon shot sounded from the harbor.

"Was that a cannon?" Vivi asked out loud as she and Usopp looked back. Confused they looked around and were shocked at the townspeople's expressions. Pure fear. Each and everyone knew what the cannon shot meant. And they didn't want to believe it. Dalton had a face of grim resolve as he gripped the shovel spear on his back. 

"That was the Return Cannon," Jamal whispered, trembling a mile a minute.

"Return Cannon? What's returned?" Usopp asked getting nervous.

"Wapol, ” Dalton answered, his eyes turned back towards the village they came. “Miss Vivi, Mr. Usopp, I’ll have to ask you to drive the sled to Gyasta. Just follow this road out of town and you will see the road signs that can lead you there." He said getting into a sprinters stance.

"Why? What are you gonna do?" Vivi asked disturbed by the evenness in his voice.

"Atone." And with that Dalton kicked the snow with enough force to spray the people behind him and started sprinting.

As he ran, he began to transform into a large Ox-like beast. It was easily larger than any normal man with twin large horns. Soon he was out of sight.

"What the hell was that?!" Usopp shouted eyes popping out.

"A Zoan Devil Fruit!" Vivi answered, eyes wide with shock.

"Wait, like Maxie and Luffy?" He asked confused.

"Yes and no. Zoan Devil Fruits gives the eater the ability to turn into a single animal either fully or halfway.” Vivi explained as she got back in the sleigh, fumbling with the reins. “Come on Usopp, the sooner we get to Gyasta the sooner we can go help Dalton and the other villagers." 

Giving her a nod, Usopp hopped on the sled, and taking the reins from her gave it a flick to send the elk galloping forward. Before they were even out of town, snow started to fall.

Back at the harbor...

Surrounding Wapol and his men were the battered bodies of the village militia, covered in blood. Not one of them were standing, their charge halted by the brutality they had faced. The snow, previously a pure white, was stained with the crimson red of blood.

They’d definitely given their best shot in the charge, some of Wapol's men were knocked out on the snow with them. But despite their bravery, they just weren't strong enough for Wapol and his ministers. 

The Ex-King laughed at the carnage around him.

"What fools to think they could stand against my esteemed self!" He snorted as he munched on a pistol, the weapon still smoking from use.

"What fools indeed, Your Majesty," Kuromarimo agreed as he stomped on a downed villager, Chess was retrieving his arrows from wounded villagers with savage pulls. 

"Stop crying, I didn’t hit any of your vital areas. You will die a slow, painful death as you reflect upon your crimes to the Drum Kingdom, peasant." He deadpanned, face betraying no emotion whatsoever. “This is what you get for betraying King Wapol.” And with that, he ripped an arrow out of the man's knee.

Joseph gritted his teeth, resisting the oh-so powerful urge to just start crying from the sheer helplessness and pain he felt. Seeing his spear next to where he lay, he pushed his body to his limit, ignoring the blood in his eyes as he grabbed the spear and leaped at Wapol in a single, fluid motion.

He chucked the spear at the man with all his strength and went slacked jawed as he watched the spearhead go straight into his mouth. 

Joseph didn't have time to celebrate as Kuromarimo met him in midair and sent a vicious right hook into his ribcage, definitely breaking several somethings and sending him crashing into a nearby boulder. The soldiers quickly surrounded him, the ends of muskets and sharp bayonets aimed straight at his face.

“My Lord!" Chess shouted rushing to Wapol's side. Meanwhile, the Ex-King was...chewing? Wapol was currently chewing and munching down on the spear. It seemingly having done no damage. After he was finished he wiped the sweat off his face using Chess's cloak.

"That was close!” He breathed with relief. “If it had hit me anywhere else I would have been in trouble." Then he turned to his ministers, 

"You idiots! WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!" He yelled at the duo, who began to shake slightly. The soldiers immediately knew what was coming, and braced themselves. The ministers turned to the soldiers and began to berate them severely, even going so far as to hit and shoot arrows at them. 

The 20 doctors could only watch from the ship. They wanted to help so badly, but they knew what Wapol would do to them if they treated someone without his orders. And none of them were willing to risk what had happened to one of their numbers after doing so.

Wapol stopped his ministers after a few minutes of this, the soldiers battered and pained but not daring to make a sound. The ones on the snow that was still conscious were also shock-silent, hands desperately stemming arrow wounds and fresh blood all around them.

"All right, enough of this. I want to quickly get back to my castle. It must be in a poor state with no one living in it for so long." He scoffed, reaching into his saddlebags and munching on a handful of musket balls. 

Hearing Wapol’s words, Joseph began to laugh hysterically with a mad smile on his face before hacking up blood.

“Poor state?! Poor state my fucking ASS, that damn witch is there now!” He rasped, ignoring the bolts of pain shooting through his body. “Hate her I might, but I definitely hate you more, you fatass shit excuse of a person that left us to die-” 

A soldier stomped on his already broken ribs, and Joseph let out a strangled gasp of pain, flecks of blood flying everywhere.

“What!?” Wapol roared in a rage. “What do you mean, that witch is in my castle?!"

Joseph grinned a predatory smile; if he was gonna die, he might as well bite the dust doing something fun, and to him pissing off an asshole definitely counted. 

But before he could say anything else Wapol raised a hand and pointed his index finger at him, the finger turning into a pistol and fired. The bullet hitting him in the shoulder faster than he could blink.

A burning pain raged from the bullet, and Joseph clutched his shoulder and fell to the ground, which caused him even more pain from his broken ribs.

"Hmm… men! Grab the boy and bring him to the village!” He ordered, urging his White Walker forward. “It is time to remind the people who they belong to." He finished as Kuromarimo tossed Joseph onto his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, ignoring the pained cough that most definitely made blood spurt everywhere.

The New World, Dressrosa

Diamante was walking down the palace hallway, his face arrogant and proud with a bundle of reports under his arm. As he passed the servants in the palace they all gave him a low bow of respect, some of them hiding small smiles.

And why wouldn't they? Here, he was a companion of the 'hero', Doflamingo. They had nothing to fear from him.

He smiled when he remembered that day. Such a masterpiece of the grand theater that was his life. He stopped in front of the massive doors leading to the throne room and gave the massive blue doors a quick knock.

"Doffy, its Diamante. I'm coming in with the weekly report." He announced, opening the doors and stepping into the room. 

The curtains were drawn, causing the room to be dimly lit. Shadows covered everything, giving the room a mysterious feel matching the persona of the room’s only occupant, "Heavenly Demon" Donquixote Doflamingo. A Warlord of the Seas -with a few strings loose, but that didn’t matter to the World Government- that was currently laying across the arms of the throne.

The Warlord stared at the ceiling, hands crossed behind his head. His eyes were hidden behind his red-tinted sunglasses, his thoughts a mystery to even his trusted family. A mad smile was stretched across his face, fitting his moniker of "Joker".

"Doffy, I have the weekly reports here and we have some problems," Diamante said walking towards the throne. 

"Oh? What kind of problems, Diamante~?" His voice was light and clear, as though he was a hair away from laughing. Taking a page out of the bundle, Diamante carefully read the report so he could accurate.

"One of our ships in Paradise was running the usual racket. Sack a town, burn and loot what they could. Distract the Marines from our underground dealings with minor stuff like this.” He said talking about the deaths of hundreds with ease. 

Doflamingo just yawned with boredom.

“But they ran into a problem..." 

Doffy ears pricked up in interest, and he flipped around to sit in the throne properly now. 

"What kind of problem?" He asked crossing his legs.

"A Giant one, Doffy.” He answered, looking at his captain and once young ward in sunglasses. “Apparently, the village had been playing host to two New World Pirates. And once the ship started firing on the village they rushed it, absolutely obliterating it. They then threatened the crew and were lead back to their base where they promptly destroyed it and every piece of the treasure they had." He finished, eyeing Doflamingo for his reaction. 

The Demon just sat on his throne for a minute, smile still stretched out on his face.

"First off, find that crew of cowards and kill them slowly. 2nd, do we know the identities of these Giants?" He asked, not bothering to look up.

"Yes, Doffy.” He said taking two wanted posters out of his bundle and walking towards Doflamingo handed them over. Taking them Doflamingo gave them a hard look. “Dorry The Red and Broggy the Blue. Two Elbaf Pirates of the old ‘Giant Warrior Pirates’ that disbanded about a hundred years ago when these two went missing. They recently reappeared and stole a Navy Warship while defeating John Giant in the process. The World Government raised their bounties to 250 Mil apiece after hearing this. What should we do?" Diamante asked the King of Dressrosa, who sat on the throne quietly.

Then he laughed. A loud, long laugh that struck you to the bone.

"Diamante, my dear family member, why are you worried? So what if we lost one ship and base, we have hundreds all along the Grand Line!” He shouted as he stood upon the throne. “Send this message to all out agents! Kill on sight anyone bearing their Jolly Roger! No one messes with Doflamingo and his business!" He cackled, the laugh echoing throughout the palace.

Back at the village...

"Get moving!' A soldier shouted, pushing a villager into the square by the butt of his rifle. “Lord Wapol demands all the villager be present for his party." 

This was happening all around the village; soldiers broke into houses and rounded up the people, ushering them into the square. 

"People of Drum Kingdom! By the decree of Lord Wapol, Eirhs Joseph shall be put to death by firing squad! For the crimes of treason, attempted assassination of the King, bearing arms against his Majesty's soldier, and running King Wapol's mood!" Chess shouted out as Joseph was tied tightly to a post against a building, soldiers lining up across from him with rifles at the ready. 

The villagers realized what was about to happen at the last second and surged forward, yelling and pushing as they desperately tried to stop the soldiers.

Wapol laughed. 

Joseph glared down the soldiers with no fear, cold calm gleaming in his green eyes.

He’d faced down death before, by a force far greater than the fucker Wapol and his soldiers. He’d been scared, yes. Terrified out of his mind, actually. And that had gotten someone he was willing to turn the world upside down for to die right in front of him.

No warning, besides him and breathing and alive and then gone in the blink of an eye, hand still reaching out for his arm to grab, to hold close, to be safe.

He couldn’t do anything.

Yeah, Wapol and his soldiers utterly curbstomped him, and Joseph was pretty sure that even if he didn’t die from this, he was going to bleed out the rest of the blood in his body pretty fucking fast.

But better him than anyone else.

"Ready!" Chess ordered the soldiers as they picked up their guns.

"Aim!" The soldiers set their sights on Joseph. 

"Fire!" And with that, the soldiers fired at the barely-conscious boy.

"NO!!!!" A massive object burst through the soldiers holding back the villagers and put itself in front of Joseph, spreading his arms wide and bracing his body for the bullets.

"DAD!!!!" Joseph screamed, straining against the rope as he watched the bullets lodge themselves deep into his father's body. 

Turning his head with blood dripping down his mouth, the Mayor looked at his son, pride and love clear in his eyes.

"I love you, my pride. Be happy." A massive arrow pierced his chest, and as he fell back with a smile on his face, the last thing he heard before everything went black was the most reassuring voice in the world.

"WAAAAPPPPOOOOLLLL!!! Dalton roared as he rushed the soldiers going half-zoan drawing his shovel-blade. He began to twirl his spade-

"Fiddle Banff!" He shouted, cutting down the soldiers with incredible skill and speed. Moving to the post, he quickly cut down Joseph, who tried to rush to his father's body. 

But Dalton quickly caught him and threw him to the villagers. "Get him out of here!" 

“No…” Joseph muttered sluggishly, making to get up before collapsing back down to the snow, out cold. Several villagers hastily grabbed him and ran as fast as they could to a nearby house.

Seeing that the boy was safe, Dalton turned to face his greatest shame. Wapol.

"Dalton, you are once again getting the way of an execution!' Wapol shouted, staring daggers at the man. “I see my time away did nothing to help that treasonous attitude of yours." 

"The only thing that needs help is this country! You nearly destroyed it with your greed, your gluttony, and sheer foolishness," He shouted, pointing his spade at Wapol and dashing past the Ministers. Appearing in front of Wapol in a flash he swung his spade and carved a deep gash into Wapol’s chest, making the man fall backwards with a shout of pain. 

Dalton moved to finish but had to move back as Kuromarimo threw his sticky hair bombs at him, Chess firing arrow after arrow at Dalton.

"20 DOCTORS! HELP ME!!"Wapol shouted for doctors he stole from the kingdom rushed in from behind the buildings they were hiding behind. Within minutes they had Wapol up and moving, the wound not even noticeable as they put a fresh breastplate over the now-closed wound.

"Mehahahaha! With my doctors, my ministers and my Devil Fruit no one can stop me!" Wapol laughed. 

"You should never have betrayed Wapol, Dalton. Now you gotta die here." Kuromarimo grinned as he got into a boxer stance. Dalton readied his spade.

"There is no need for that, Marimo. Did you forget? Dalton has a glaring weakness." Chess turned to the right and fired a volley of arrows at ten villagers. 

Without hesitation, Dalton moved to protect the villagers, blocking the volley with his body without so much as a flinch.

"Not yet!” Dalton shouted, holding his body up by leaning on the spade and ignoring the pain lancing his body. “As long as there is a single breath, a single ounce of will left in me I will protect them! As a knight and as a man this is my duty! AND I WILL NOT FAIL AGAIN!!!" He shouted, rallying the villager's meager hope. 

Wapol and his men were stunned for a minute, mouths open and clearly shocked. The 20 doctors, on the other hand, felt something stir in them at the words.

"Enough blustering! Time for this to en-"

A tremor shook the village, and everyone turned to the mountain in confusion. Their eyes were met with the most terrifying thing they could think of. 

"Avalanche!!!" The villagers shouted as they rushed to their houses, the 20 right behind them. A small group grabbed Dalton and brought him inside just as the avalanche hit the village, burying Wapol and his men.

Back on the mountain...

It hurts. It's so cold. Where am I? I thought to myself as I vaguely felt something pulling on me, shouting something at me. I tried to speak but immediately stopped when pain lanced through me.

My body felt...torn. Every muscle, bone, and nerve felt like it was being torn in two. Everything I saw was covered in a haze, like I was looking through a foggy mirror.

"...axi...urn...ff!" The voice shouted at me. I tried to speak up but my body refused to obey me. Man, I haven't felt like this since I tried Lead for the first time. 

Oh, I might be overdoing my fruit powers. That’s something that happens, right?

Turning off the metal I quickly felt my body get a little bit better. I wasn't feeling torn in two anymore. But there was still pain everywhere. Even in my butt.

"I think I broke my butt," I mumbled out loud, my vision starting to clear as Sanji and Luffy appeared to my returning vision. I think they were holding me up. Moving my hand up I quickly wiped my face with a sleeve ignoring the blood I left on it. 

Huh, it’s a weird grayish-silver color, almost like liquid iron. Oh right, I need to be ahead of the others. Clear the way. Do my part. Be useful.

I tried moving past them but my body instantly fell to the ground sending a fresh wave of pain through me. 

"Maxie, don't move! Your entire body is bruised and we think you have some broken bones!” Luffy shouted as Sanji helped pick me up. “You’re bleeding from the eyes, ears, and nose! Don't push yourself too hard!”

"But I have to be in front. I have to be useful. I have to do my part." I said trying to push myself up but my body wouldn't listen. 

Sanji appeared in front of me crouching down, back towards me.

"Get on, shitty rust bucket. You've done your part, stop trying to be cool. You’re already ice cold." He said glancing back at me with a smile. Luffy walked next to me and crouching down gave me and a large smile.

"We're Nakama, Maxie. You've done your part. Trust us and let us do ours.” He patted me on the back, causing me to wince in pain and Luffy to jump back and apologize profusely. “Sorry! Sorry!" 

Sanji just glared at him while Nami gave him a weak knuckle rap to the head. 

...They were right. Nakama doesn't just do everything themselves. They do what they can and leave the rest to their friends. Smiling weakly I gingerly got on Sanji back, he placed Lady Gentle under me for me to sit on. 

We had to leave the gear though, too heavy for any of us to carry.

Just as we were leaving Luffy stopped and helped a baby Rapa by dragging its parent from were it was buried under the snow. As we walked away from the baby gleefully hugging its parent that stared after us I felt warmth in my chest. 

I think it was warmth, either that or a lot of internal bleeding. Either way, I felt confident that we would get to Kureha with little to no extra problems.

(A/NThe next issue is fighting on the mountain. Wapol's snowy warfare!)

…..you son of a-

Omake 

"Doffy..you have been posing for ten minutes. What are you waiting for?" Diamante asked head tilted in confusion.

"The end of the chapter." He answered with a spin.

"...the wha-?"  
Chapter end!

**Author's Note:**

> As thanks for 100 hits 😳 😳 😳 Here is discord I am on. Home of many wonderful writers and wonderful people please stop by.  
https://discordapp.com/invite/tqeby9j


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